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Huuaahh.. >Le sigh< (Alt: You take the good.. you take the bad..)
Posted by Corrugo,
25 March 2011
·
526 views
::Facts of Life - Opening::
I usually started with "I dunno.." so I'm going to continue that streak!
I dunno what it is exactly but things have been.. wanky. I was gonna say wonky but it didn't seem wonky enough so I choose wanky.
Why are they wanky you ask?
Well Billy, you see when the world never seems to be living up to your dreams.. <.<
Mmm.. for once it's not Stephanie related so Wo0o0o0o~ (For some reason Chrome believe 0o0o0o us a word spelled correctly.. weird)
So awhile back I decided to message people on facebook, well IM them on that Facebook chat thing and I messaged Samantha who mentioned liking smoking cigarettes and gosh darn it, it threw me - it did. I incredibly excited by that. So.. my confusion led me to Chelsea whom I confessed about my smoking fetish thing..
After a lengthy conversation we learned she too had the fetish.. from then, things got weird. I just.. really enjoyed talking to her, it was like I was developing feelings for her. The crazy part was/is.. it is in no way just a sexual attraction because truth be told.. I don't find her THAT attractive. I mean yeah she's cute but she's skinny and.. ordinary? Huuaahh.. ugh, that makes me sound like a douche bag, but sadly it's true.
Don't get me wrong, those social networking profiles that had sexy girls as their display pictures.. I could not be less attracted to. What most people see as 'sexy' just.. bores me. I guess in the end.. I need cute or beautiful, not sexy - it's so mainstream. lmao
Just.. I dunno, me and Chelsea just got stuff in common and it's nice talking to her about things. Hell, the other day I woke up when I didn't really want to in hopes that she'd be on while Mecum was gone so I could chat with her.
Well you see.. she doesn't want Mecum knowing of her fetish so we refer to our selves as SSSFFF or S3F3, meaning Super Secret Smoking Fetish Friends Forever. I.. clearly came up with the name..
Things changed.. Mecum came home one night, said he was gonna read our chats. The next day he bought electric cigarettes, some nicotine'less and flavored and gave them to Chelsea. She also said he seemed to be trying to be sexy. She said she'd even video tape herself smoking for me.. it was nice.
::Scrubs - Waiting for my real life to begin::
I guess after all this it was just nice having something to myself. I always shared my hobbies and dreams with my friends and honestly I prefer it that way, but just having one friend with a lot stuff you have in common with is just a good thing.
I hardly expected Chelsea to have an affair with me and ditch Mecum.. >Pause< .. nah, couldn't do it. Oh I mean yeah I could, hellz to the yeah! /winning~
But they have a family now, they are a family now.. since Mecum found out it's kinda lost it's flair and she's been.. not around so.. it was a nice experience, ne~?
Then there's Ryan.. -Fuuu~..-
He invited his girlfriend Brenda down and.. treated her like crap. He'd been complaining about her for awhile but when seeing the two interact I wondered why SHE wasn't the one complaining. He was bossy, forceful, honestly seemed like he wanted her just for sex. Hell she lends him all kinda of stuff, a PS2, Ipad or Iphone whichever. He kicks her out in the morning after they bump uglies.
Just seemed.. wrong. So once again, I intervened and sort of.. pushed her away from him, which of course was what Ryan 'said' he wanted. I still talk to her and given it's been a long time since I had.. relations >-> I kind of.. flirt? Well whatever I do/say it's clear we would probably have sex if she came down one time and honestly..
::Love Hina - Sakura Saku:: (Lullaby version) ((w00t for spelling lullaby right on the first try xD ))
If I were to be completely honest with myself? It would be just like Amanda again, sex sex sex >>> regret regret regret
There's no real reason for me to regret it, other than giving into temptation and feeding my lust craving. I don't want Stephanie, I don't want her so bad it keeps me up at night, it does!
Maybe I'm more.. well spiritual ain't the right word. I believe in sins more than I thought, like I hate lust. Dunno if it was how I was brought up or my own morals but.. my heart, my mind - they don't want just bodily pleasure.. that's senor penis who does, not hearty and mindo.
Apparently I've given names to my body parts.. weird.
Right now I can't even see myself being with one of my favorite idols (obvious reasons aside, I mean xD) they're just too perfect and I'm.. not worthy? Something like that, probably..
Huuaahh..
Aloha~
I usually started with "I dunno.." so I'm going to continue that streak!
I dunno what it is exactly but things have been.. wanky. I was gonna say wonky but it didn't seem wonky enough so I choose wanky.
Why are they wanky you ask?
Well Billy, you see when the world never seems to be living up to your dreams.. <.<
Mmm.. for once it's not Stephanie related so Wo0o0o0o~ (For some reason Chrome believe 0o0o0o us a word spelled correctly.. weird)
So awhile back I decided to message people on facebook, well IM them on that Facebook chat thing and I messaged Samantha who mentioned liking smoking cigarettes and gosh darn it, it threw me - it did. I incredibly excited by that. So.. my confusion led me to Chelsea whom I confessed about my smoking fetish thing..
After a lengthy conversation we learned she too had the fetish.. from then, things got weird. I just.. really enjoyed talking to her, it was like I was developing feelings for her. The crazy part was/is.. it is in no way just a sexual attraction because truth be told.. I don't find her THAT attractive. I mean yeah she's cute but she's skinny and.. ordinary? Huuaahh.. ugh, that makes me sound like a douche bag, but sadly it's true.
Don't get me wrong, those social networking profiles that had sexy girls as their display pictures.. I could not be less attracted to. What most people see as 'sexy' just.. bores me. I guess in the end.. I need cute or beautiful, not sexy - it's so mainstream. lmao
Just.. I dunno, me and Chelsea just got stuff in common and it's nice talking to her about things. Hell, the other day I woke up when I didn't really want to in hopes that she'd be on while Mecum was gone so I could chat with her.
Well you see.. she doesn't want Mecum knowing of her fetish so we refer to our selves as SSSFFF or S3F3, meaning Super Secret Smoking Fetish Friends Forever. I.. clearly came up with the name..
Things changed.. Mecum came home one night, said he was gonna read our chats. The next day he bought electric cigarettes, some nicotine'less and flavored and gave them to Chelsea. She also said he seemed to be trying to be sexy. She said she'd even video tape herself smoking for me.. it was nice.
::Scrubs - Waiting for my real life to begin::
I guess after all this it was just nice having something to myself. I always shared my hobbies and dreams with my friends and honestly I prefer it that way, but just having one friend with a lot stuff you have in common with is just a good thing.
I hardly expected Chelsea to have an affair with me and ditch Mecum.. >Pause< .. nah, couldn't do it. Oh I mean yeah I could, hellz to the yeah! /winning~
But they have a family now, they are a family now.. since Mecum found out it's kinda lost it's flair and she's been.. not around so.. it was a nice experience, ne~?
Then there's Ryan.. -Fuuu~..-
He invited his girlfriend Brenda down and.. treated her like crap. He'd been complaining about her for awhile but when seeing the two interact I wondered why SHE wasn't the one complaining. He was bossy, forceful, honestly seemed like he wanted her just for sex. Hell she lends him all kinda of stuff, a PS2, Ipad or Iphone whichever. He kicks her out in the morning after they bump uglies.
Just seemed.. wrong. So once again, I intervened and sort of.. pushed her away from him, which of course was what Ryan 'said' he wanted. I still talk to her and given it's been a long time since I had.. relations >-> I kind of.. flirt? Well whatever I do/say it's clear we would probably have sex if she came down one time and honestly..
::Love Hina - Sakura Saku:: (Lullaby version) ((w00t for spelling lullaby right on the first try xD ))
If I were to be completely honest with myself? It would be just like Amanda again, sex sex sex >>> regret regret regret
There's no real reason for me to regret it, other than giving into temptation and feeding my lust craving. I don't want Stephanie, I don't want her so bad it keeps me up at night, it does!
Maybe I'm more.. well spiritual ain't the right word. I believe in sins more than I thought, like I hate lust. Dunno if it was how I was brought up or my own morals but.. my heart, my mind - they don't want just bodily pleasure.. that's senor penis who does, not hearty and mindo.
Apparently I've given names to my body parts.. weird.
Right now I can't even see myself being with one of my favorite idols (obvious reasons aside, I mean xD) they're just too perfect and I'm.. not worthy? Something like that, probably..
Huuaahh..
Aloha~
