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I can't remember WHY I felt the need to do this.. but I'm sure I had a good reason for it, so here I go!
Alright so like.. 9 years ago, Greatest Summer of My Life, Yu Yu Hakusho, Final Fantasy, Corrupting Young Children, Anim3 and Pool Time, yo.
Mecum goes away for vacation, comes back and he has written a story, starring himself as Knayde Ranu and featuring myself as Corrugo Kindorushi.
Feeling inspired by Mecum's story, I decided to start a Role-Play of my own design on Anim3. I called it Nocreturne, or it just featured Nocreturne, whichever.
No Return + c inbetween the words and an e at the end = NoCreturnE
Which is a school for heroes. Well the RP.. didn't really hit off very well.. I think.
::Ayumi Nakamura - Tsubasa no Oreta Angel::
Well school had started, 9th grade and one day in Art class I decide to write a story of my own. Called it The Chosen One, featured my best friends as a group of people pulled together and saved the world, becoming great friends in the process. I decided to add my crush Sarah into the story. Of course my paranoia was in control so I had to use code.. I chose Al Bhed. Sarah became.. Cynyr. (Which later became Cynar as it was really similar to Corrugo's middle name Tynyr (which was actually supposed to be Sarah in Al Bhed but I misspelled it))
Well this was to be the beginning of my delusions..
::Yu Yu Hakusho - First Opening::
Slowly my school work diminished and my story continued to grow larger but the crazy part was that what ever seemed to happen to me in real life ended up happening to the characters in my story. Whenever I felt jealous about my crush having a lover - Cynar became evil! This continued for awhile.. until my story characters actually developed their own personalities and I stopped basing my story off my real life. I decided that Corrugo needed a new love..
Another day during summer, next summer probably I was hanging out with one of my oldest friends Jordan and a bunch of kids from the neighborhood were playing Hide & Seek - it was there I met Emma. Few years younger than me but she was SOO adorable.. :blush:
Following what I had done in the past, I added Emma into my story. Emma resulted in.. Assy - which didn't sound good or look good. So I threw away the 'y' and added a second 'a' - creating Assa. But the was one difference.. Assa was based off Emma in only one way.. her name. .. kinda. Other than that, physically and personality wise she was completely unique. Emma was a small cute blonde girl - Assa had a tendency of wearing purple and light brown hair. She and Corrugo fell for eachother shortly after meeting of course. For some reason I made Cynar and Assa sisters.. not really sure why.
::Faye Wong - Eyes on Me::
Perhaps it was loneliness or my sanity leaving but I really focused on Corrugo and Assa's relationship. During this time, I was crushing on an old friend of mine's sister Cassie. On the bus to school and the bus home from school I always tried to sit across from Cassie or preferably next to her. I just watched her from afar and listening to my CD Player (Eyes on Me, 1,000 Words, any Michelle Branch song) and just imagined what it would be like if..
.. Corrugo and Assa were romantically involved. That's correct! As I watched my crush, I imagined my story characters together.. walking through an Autumn forest and feeling the warmth you feel when next to the one you love, the closeness.
It pretty much spiraled from there.. when my mind was free I imagined Assa but soon Corrugo was out of the picture and it was ME and Assa. ^^;
::Final Fantasy X-2 - 1,000 Words::
As I laid down to go to sleep I imagined Assa laying there with me - upon waking up, Assa was the first thing on my mind. I was slowly becoming obsessed. In my craziness I had made myself believe there really WAS an Assa and I just had to find her.
Unfortunately, I was dating someone online - my best friend at the time, Jason, had met this girl, Alex, in a chat room and dated her. Only to leave her when his old online girl friend had returned. I stayed friends with Alex and during a fight between Jason and I, I threw a curve ball saying that I had a crush on Alex - which was not true at all. Well.. I ended up hooking up with her to maintain my lie.
During a fight with Alex I explained Assa to her - a HUGE mistake. From then on, Alex always felt inferior and tried to live up to Assa - the girl who did not exist. We parted eventually so I could focus on Assa, a bigger mistake I made.
Years went by and Assa stayed within my mind but slowly was pushed out as I realised she could not be real. Even if she was.. she would not be as I imagined her to be.
I guess it was from actually living life and enjoying things outside of the internet that I sort of grew up a bit.
.. well that and Mecum's version of Assa (Who he had called Mia)
Mia was MUCH worse than Assa though, Mecum just used Mia as an excuse to leave girls and search for his Mia - like I had done for Assa. I suppose seeing this enough made me drop my goal of Assa.
I think it was around.. last year that Mecum had moved in once again. This time of course my obsession had moved to Hello! Project.
...
Thinking about it.. I don't think my old obsession and my H!P obsession is much different - you know what? Let's NOT open THAT door.
Anyway, Mecum moved back in and I guess seeing a few of the videos (Non PV videos, just them goofing around or one talk shows, ect)
::C-ute - Ookina Ai De Motenashite::
During one of the videos he had laid eyes on Tsugunaga Momoko and well.. he enjoyed her. Found her very cute and funny and decided THAT was what he wanted in a girl.
I was already loving Risako at this point so I had already seen Hotaru no Hoshi, where Risako played Hikari
((I googled the movie to make sure the girl Risako played was named Hikari and saw that her last name was Hoshi.. DID NOT know that..))
Having loved that movie and hating that Mecum always settles with girls when he knows he will want more - he just hates being alone I had gotten myself a tattoo - Light in Kanji which was.. Hikari. I got it to remind myself to never settle for less than true happiness.. and cause well.. it was what Risako was named in the AWESOME movie.
Anyway.. Mecum was living here and crushing on Momoko, which of course he just called her Momo like everyone else.
It was now Mecum's turn to go crazy.. the people across the street were moving and Mecum had decided that two asian girls were moving in. Someone just like Momo with a few differences and of course she had a sister for me. I.. chose the name Hikari.
::Morning Musume - Kimagure Princess:: (Eri solo version xD )
Mecum had truly gone into detail with this one, he had Momo's favorite things, what she looked like - which of course forced me to also think hard about what Hikari is like.
I'm happy to say this was about a year ago and I am NOT obsessed with the illusion of Hikari that I made but it DID help me realize what I wanted.
I like the name Hikari for (I keep misspelling Hikari and HIkaru but then I LOL cause it has the same meaning) my true love or what I would like my true love to be because it also means Light - like the Light that saved me or something lame like that xD
Also it's japanese and well.. I'm a japanophile.. ... ..clearly.
I don't really have a physical description in my mind of Hikari but I tend to imagine her as blonde for some reason.. which is different.
But to me.. Hikari is my goal. I mean I'm not going to obsess about it, but I won't settle for anything less than Hikari - MEANING that there are certain things I need or rather would like in my perfect love.
Of course a H!P.. manga fan.. gamer.. a fighter. (Sparring with a girl I have feelings for = <3 ) and other things that are important to me. Not saying she must have ALL those, nah I can easily settle for someone who likes H!P as much as I but doesn't play games or spar or vice versa, y'know? Just.. the things that are important to me I want to share.. I think.. that would be love.
Mmm.. I guess that's it..
Aloha~
Alright so like.. 9 years ago, Greatest Summer of My Life, Yu Yu Hakusho, Final Fantasy, Corrupting Young Children, Anim3 and Pool Time, yo.
Mecum goes away for vacation, comes back and he has written a story, starring himself as Knayde Ranu and featuring myself as Corrugo Kindorushi.
Feeling inspired by Mecum's story, I decided to start a Role-Play of my own design on Anim3. I called it Nocreturne, or it just featured Nocreturne, whichever.
No Return + c inbetween the words and an e at the end = NoCreturnE
Which is a school for heroes. Well the RP.. didn't really hit off very well.. I think.
::Ayumi Nakamura - Tsubasa no Oreta Angel::
Well school had started, 9th grade and one day in Art class I decide to write a story of my own. Called it The Chosen One, featured my best friends as a group of people pulled together and saved the world, becoming great friends in the process. I decided to add my crush Sarah into the story. Of course my paranoia was in control so I had to use code.. I chose Al Bhed. Sarah became.. Cynyr. (Which later became Cynar as it was really similar to Corrugo's middle name Tynyr (which was actually supposed to be Sarah in Al Bhed but I misspelled it))
Cynar
(Sigh - Nar)Well this was to be the beginning of my delusions..
::Yu Yu Hakusho - First Opening::
Slowly my school work diminished and my story continued to grow larger but the crazy part was that what ever seemed to happen to me in real life ended up happening to the characters in my story. Whenever I felt jealous about my crush having a lover - Cynar became evil! This continued for awhile.. until my story characters actually developed their own personalities and I stopped basing my story off my real life. I decided that Corrugo needed a new love..
Another day during summer, next summer probably I was hanging out with one of my oldest friends Jordan and a bunch of kids from the neighborhood were playing Hide & Seek - it was there I met Emma. Few years younger than me but she was SOO adorable.. :blush:
Following what I had done in the past, I added Emma into my story. Emma resulted in.. Assy - which didn't sound good or look good. So I threw away the 'y' and added a second 'a' - creating Assa. But the was one difference.. Assa was based off Emma in only one way.. her name. .. kinda. Other than that, physically and personality wise she was completely unique. Emma was a small cute blonde girl - Assa had a tendency of wearing purple and light brown hair. She and Corrugo fell for eachother shortly after meeting of course. For some reason I made Cynar and Assa sisters.. not really sure why.
Assa
::Faye Wong - Eyes on Me::
Perhaps it was loneliness or my sanity leaving but I really focused on Corrugo and Assa's relationship. During this time, I was crushing on an old friend of mine's sister Cassie. On the bus to school and the bus home from school I always tried to sit across from Cassie or preferably next to her. I just watched her from afar and listening to my CD Player (Eyes on Me, 1,000 Words, any Michelle Branch song) and just imagined what it would be like if..
.. Corrugo and Assa were romantically involved. That's correct! As I watched my crush, I imagined my story characters together.. walking through an Autumn forest and feeling the warmth you feel when next to the one you love, the closeness.
It pretty much spiraled from there.. when my mind was free I imagined Assa but soon Corrugo was out of the picture and it was ME and Assa. ^^;
::Final Fantasy X-2 - 1,000 Words::
As I laid down to go to sleep I imagined Assa laying there with me - upon waking up, Assa was the first thing on my mind. I was slowly becoming obsessed. In my craziness I had made myself believe there really WAS an Assa and I just had to find her.
Unfortunately, I was dating someone online - my best friend at the time, Jason, had met this girl, Alex, in a chat room and dated her. Only to leave her when his old online girl friend had returned. I stayed friends with Alex and during a fight between Jason and I, I threw a curve ball saying that I had a crush on Alex - which was not true at all. Well.. I ended up hooking up with her to maintain my lie.
During a fight with Alex I explained Assa to her - a HUGE mistake. From then on, Alex always felt inferior and tried to live up to Assa - the girl who did not exist. We parted eventually so I could focus on Assa, a bigger mistake I made.
Years went by and Assa stayed within my mind but slowly was pushed out as I realised she could not be real. Even if she was.. she would not be as I imagined her to be.
I guess it was from actually living life and enjoying things outside of the internet that I sort of grew up a bit.
.. well that and Mecum's version of Assa (Who he had called Mia)
Mia was MUCH worse than Assa though, Mecum just used Mia as an excuse to leave girls and search for his Mia - like I had done for Assa. I suppose seeing this enough made me drop my goal of Assa.
I think it was around.. last year that Mecum had moved in once again. This time of course my obsession had moved to Hello! Project.
...
Thinking about it.. I don't think my old obsession and my H!P obsession is much different - you know what? Let's NOT open THAT door.
Anyway, Mecum moved back in and I guess seeing a few of the videos (Non PV videos, just them goofing around or one talk shows, ect)
::C-ute - Ookina Ai De Motenashite::
During one of the videos he had laid eyes on Tsugunaga Momoko and well.. he enjoyed her. Found her very cute and funny and decided THAT was what he wanted in a girl.
I was already loving Risako at this point so I had already seen Hotaru no Hoshi, where Risako played Hikari
((I googled the movie to make sure the girl Risako played was named Hikari and saw that her last name was Hoshi.. DID NOT know that..))
Having loved that movie and hating that Mecum always settles with girls when he knows he will want more - he just hates being alone I had gotten myself a tattoo - Light in Kanji which was.. Hikari. I got it to remind myself to never settle for less than true happiness.. and cause well.. it was what Risako was named in the AWESOME movie.
Anyway.. Mecum was living here and crushing on Momoko, which of course he just called her Momo like everyone else.
It was now Mecum's turn to go crazy.. the people across the street were moving and Mecum had decided that two asian girls were moving in. Someone just like Momo with a few differences and of course she had a sister for me. I.. chose the name Hikari.
Hikari
::Morning Musume - Kimagure Princess:: (Eri solo version xD )
Mecum had truly gone into detail with this one, he had Momo's favorite things, what she looked like - which of course forced me to also think hard about what Hikari is like.
I'm happy to say this was about a year ago and I am NOT obsessed with the illusion of Hikari that I made but it DID help me realize what I wanted.
I like the name Hikari for (I keep misspelling Hikari and HIkaru but then I LOL cause it has the same meaning) my true love or what I would like my true love to be because it also means Light - like the Light that saved me or something lame like that xD
Also it's japanese and well.. I'm a japanophile.. ... ..clearly.
I don't really have a physical description in my mind of Hikari but I tend to imagine her as blonde for some reason.. which is different.
But to me.. Hikari is my goal. I mean I'm not going to obsess about it, but I won't settle for anything less than Hikari - MEANING that there are certain things I need or rather would like in my perfect love.
Of course a H!P.. manga fan.. gamer.. a fighter. (Sparring with a girl I have feelings for = <3 ) and other things that are important to me. Not saying she must have ALL those, nah I can easily settle for someone who likes H!P as much as I but doesn't play games or spar or vice versa, y'know? Just.. the things that are important to me I want to share.. I think.. that would be love.
Mmm.. I guess that's it..
Aloha~
