86 replies to this topic

[faraithi sayounara~*waves*]

What comes out after that is totally awesome

http://www.nochucknorris.com/

Spoiler

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

[Wingates]

omg that google one is just soo freaking awesome !!!!!!! ooooh my it made me lul hard.

here's ones I found in the sites:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. <==

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble. You win. Forever.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick trees into paper.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. <=== omg! !!

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Polar bears refuse to attack Chunk Norris.

Chuck Norris is known to withstand head on Rhino charges. He's also known to have Rhinos for pets.



and this one's my personal favorite

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

[Ryuuzaki]

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

monsters hide in the closet hoping chuck norris never finds them

chuck norris can unscramble an egg

as you're reading this, chuck norris is swimming around the world
as you're reading THIS, he's doing it again

chuck norris reached the horizon. twice

chuck norris ended WW2 by stomping the ground at Hiroshima and Nagasaki

[Xamos]

I went to catch a movie one day and they showed a trailer of "Ong Bak 2", i was wondering can he pwn Chuck Norris?

here's a video of him : (he'll start to fight at around 1:38)

[markRAWR]

I know this is a Chuck Norris thread and i should be rooting for the Norris but suffice to say Tony Jaa would kick his ass.

[shura-kun]

the only one that can own Chuck Norris is The Master of the Flying Guillotine

[sailormari]

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

[faraithi sayounara~*waves*]

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

I'd love to see a vid of him do that!

[sailormari]

but seeing such awsomeness from a video could kill you

[shadowstar]

This made me

Attached Files

•  chuck_norris_split_rock.jpg   40.24KB   37 downloads

[sailormari]

[jbatmanl]

I found out about this from my friend...

1st go to google.com
2nd type Find Chuck Norris
3rd click on the I'm Feeling Lucky button

What comes out after that is totally awesome

hilarious!

[12345PAPARAA]

Here's my favorite ones;
Chuck Norris doesn't do situps; He's too old.
Every night before the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet if Chuck Norris folded all the clothes correctly.

[Taiki_Matsuo]

God said "Let there be light"

and Chuck Norris said "Say please"

[sailormari]

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We
know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12
asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more
than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris
as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and
could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show,
however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

While filming an episode of "Walker Texas Ranger" the director disagreed
with Chuck Norris. Chuck then roundhouse kicked the director in half.
Afterwards realizing they needed a director, Chuck Norris spit onto the
ground, then out of the ooze rose a clone of Chuck Norris himself who then
went on to direct the episode. This episode won every single Emmy award that
year including best animated sitcom.

[faraithi sayounara~*waves*]

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

So all along, I've been drinking Chuck Norris' urine???
I wonder if that has been having a good or bad effect on me so far...

[Arche-JoIyO]

http://www.whichisga...w2=chuck norris

Wut?

[faraithi sayounara~*waves*]

Amazing Chuck Norris!
http://www.funlol.com/2228/Amazing_Chuck_Norris!.html

[chr0nik©]

Old meme is old

[Ol' Dirty Pepto]

My favorite joke is:

When Chuck Norris falls in water he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris