is really great, is help me more in English and i had a good relax time ^^v
Odori and Ima: Fanfic II Revenant Story
Started by Odori, Jun 29 2008 08:22 AM
494 replies to this topic
#221
Jingkoto
-
- Shinmem
- 79 posts
6th gen member
Posted 28 August 2008 - 07:01 AM
@Odori and Ima: np ^^~ i read all of you two fic in this thread just 1 day is really great, is help me more in English and i had a good relax time ^^v
is really great, is help me more in English and i had a good relax time ^^v
We will miss you, Ume-chan
#222
sweeety
-
- Kouhai
-
- 208 posts
4th gen member
Posted 28 August 2008 - 07:23 AM
ZOMG I LOVE THIS FIC! I WILL HURTCHOU IF YOU DON'T FINISH IT! I MEAN IT!
but yeah, how can you not tell me = your friend about this? Huh? Did it slip your mind? huH? huh? Stop hitting yourself *smacks ima with own hand* Stop hitting yourself *does it again* Stop hitting yourself *and again*.
Now to the story..... It is awesome! And I love that you've cleverly purposely deposited typing mistakes in it to make the story even funnier
I love the TakaGaki and I love the TanaKame and I'm gonna love how funny Yoshi with Nacchi will get. I hope they start talking about their current relationships so I can find out if its YoMiki etc... Hmm is Nacchi with Maki? I wonder.....
Anyway, I'm loving it. But like I said, some bits are heaps confusing (like after ch 2 I think when there's a oneshot and I thought it was part of the main story so I was like "What the hell?" But then after like 1hour realised it's not.....)
I can't wait for the next chapter. It's due today, hope you don't forget... if you go on msn at all you will realise you don't have an excuse for forgetting
cause I left you a gazillion messages there about posting it 
see ya later
but yeah, how can you not tell me = your friend about this? Huh? Did it slip your mind? huH? huh? Stop hitting yourself *smacks ima with own hand* Stop hitting yourself *does it again* Stop hitting yourself *and again*.
Now to the story..... It is awesome! And I love that you've cleverly purposely deposited typing mistakes in it to make the story even funnier
I love the TakaGaki and I love the TanaKame and I'm gonna love how funny Yoshi with Nacchi will get. I hope they start talking about their current relationships so I can find out if its YoMiki etc... Hmm is Nacchi with Maki? I wonder.....
Anyway, I'm loving it. But like I said, some bits are heaps confusing (like after ch 2 I think when there's a oneshot and I thought it was part of the main story so I was like "What the hell?"
But then after like 1hour realised it's not.....)I can't wait for the next chapter. It's due today, hope you don't forget... if you go on msn at all you will realise you don't have an excuse for forgetting
cause I left you a gazillion messages there about posting it see ya later
#223
kamegoo
-
- Senpai
-
- 4517 posts
Graduated member
Posted 28 August 2008 - 10:58 AM
^ my sweety...ur such a sweet angel 
hahhaa, im sorry for not telling you and i mean it..T.T
and thanks for reading~ see you later too~
and sorry for makin u confused..
hahhaa, im sorry for not telling you and i mean it..T.T
and thanks for reading~ see you later too~
and sorry for makin u confused..
cr: R/M & SweetHoney
#224
Odori
-
- Senpai
-
- 544 posts
Woohoho~~!
Posted 06 September 2008 - 11:03 AM
It getting far in between updates 
We're sorry about that but there are limits to what we can do...
Go read Hello!Pirates in my blog while waiting, updated chp 7:2 this week
here we go.... (lol how did things get so dark?)
Ai stood in the doorway, the half-rotten, half-crushed, dead body slowly sliding through her fingers. The flaring golden eyes stared at Yamato. The person in front of her was tall and handsome, he might have passed for the pretty boy next door had it not been for the fact that he did not look, nor was, human. It was more than just the golden eyes staring back at her that told her so. He had a strange glow about him, in his ashed skin and marked cheekbones. There was an aura about him that could be call nothing but evil. Ai knew that he was, beyond a doubt, a vampire. A real vampire.
“A-Ai...” Risa whimpered in a tiny voice. She grasped at the hand clinging to her hair.
Ai did not let her eyes leave the man for a second. But in the corner of her eye she could see the tears running down her friends cheeks, how the shirt was torn and dirty, how afraid and tormented the girl had been.
“Risa...?” Ai's voice trembled, she sounded as if she was close to tears, even as the burning fury in her eyes raged. “Was it... he..?”
She could not bring more to words. Her heart pounded in her ears and and her eyes burned. She felt as if she would burst from all the emotion soon. It would be too much for her any minute.
“So it's you, than?” Yamato spoke. He kept the eyecontact. “So your the real one.”
He let go of Risa's hair, the girl falling to the ground. He turned and took a step towards Ai.
“I have waited for you.” He said and he was smiling now. “I've wanted too meet someone like you for a long time.”
That smile. That smug cold hearted smile. It taunted her, it made her hate him more. She wanted to tear him in half. Only a nagging curiosity kept her from launching forward.
“Who.. are you.” She had to swallow her rage, tried to clutching her teeth. “And.. What do you want with me!?”
“Oh forgive me for not introducing myself.” Yamato almost laughed letting his arms swing out in a wild gesture. He bowed, or rather tilted his upped body slightly forward. “I am Yamato of the Keikan clan. I promise to tell you all about myself later but... first. You.”
One of the slender fingers pointed at her.
“Why me? What do you know about me!?” Ai demanded.
“You are perfect in the making.” He said matter of factly. “A vampire of the high blood line. The Ultimate newborn. You will help me restore my clan. You see I'm the last. Sure I can make people vampires but I need stronger blood to restore the power of the Kaikan. I need you.” He pointed ones again at her. “You will drink my blood, become a kin of my clan...” He eyed her in a greedily way. “And you will be my bride.”
“You don't know anything about me!?” She burst out. The man had stirred up so much feelings and frustration, she didn't know how to start. “How can you.. How dare you ask me to be your bride!? You don't know who I am, what kind of person I am. What..! What..!” She was gonna blow soon, she would do something drastic, she wouldn't be able to hold back. Even in her mad rage there was something about this vampire that drew her in. Maybe the fact that someone was offering her a place where she, even like this, would fit in. And finally her eyes fell on her friend sitting in a heap against the wall. The weird desire disappeared. “You don't know anything about what's important to me!”
Yamato laughed again. The cold laugher echoed around them.
“Non of those things matter. Who you were doesn't matter. Only how I can use you matters. And I wasn't asking.” The kind of friendly tone in he's voice disappeared. “You will be my bride and than you shall drink in my honor and show you complete submission.” The slender hand gestured towards Risa. “Seize her!”
Ai's body went cold. The world had suddenly taken a step further away. Would he make her kill her own friend? The only person who still saw the human in her, who had stayed with her despite all. The though rung in her mind. The foul creatures were coming at her from all sides. She could hear and see them approaching. Risa would die by her hands. Risa would die... the happy girl who always had a smile on her face. No! One of the creatures grabbed her shoulder. No, she wouldn't let it happen!
She grabbed the hand. She spun backwards and with a violent yeark the arm tore free from the dead body.
Cold fingers came at her from all sides. She let out a scream of rage. Everything was coming flowing out like a tidal wave. And she didn't not thing she would be able to stop it. But she didn't try to stop it. Not now.
With two high swiping kicks, following one another in close prosesion, the dead was thrown off their feet to fall broken to the ground.
Ai dropped into a low crouch. Pushing hard against the ground she shoot forward. She flew over the ground on all fours like a weasel. The speed was frightening even Yamato seemed to have been taken off guard. Ai's fists were locked her knocals whitening. In less than a second she had reached the place where the vampire was standing. Her fist shot forward in a wide swing, aiming right form the handsome face.
Yamato had been slow to react but when he did, a slit second before Ai's had would collide with his face, it was with the same inhuman speed.
Just as Risa thought Ai would strike him, he disappeared. Ai's fist hit nothing but air.
Her face first turned to confusion. Her instincts instantly kick in. He was right behind her!
“Now there's no need for that...” He began, but was abruptly interrupted.
Ai's body exploded in motion. She swirled around, her arm swinging like a flail. Yamato had barely time to throw up his guard. He blocked the strike just in time and his smug smile was about to return and he would continue. But his plan was again interrupted as another strike launched for his face, then another. Ai's arms swirled in a continues motion, throwing hit after hit at him. Yamato fought his best just to block but Ai was pushing him back. He had neither time to smile nor talk. Ai didn't let him. She didn't want to hear what he had to say. This was over due. She was desperate to hurt him.
Finally he was able to grab one of the arms. Just as he was about to counter attack, Ai threw leg up high taking a kick at head hight. He blocked with his over hand but only to see Ai's second leg come flying in. With her free hand balancing down on the ground she let her legs kick in a violent spin. The second kick hit dead center. The force of the kick pulled Yamato along with the spin. Ai spinning lose from the grip on her hand, leaped back a step.
The moment Yamato hit the ground he rolled up on his feet throwing Ai a nasty glear. The two stood, poised and ready to strike, eying each other. Yamato face was cold and murderous, Ai burning with fury. A short moment past. But as suddenly as a lightning strike the both of them launched forth.
The only Risa could see was a hazy blur of movement. They were moving so fast that her eyes couldn't follow. Yamato was like a flickering shadow dancing over the ground, Ai's shape dancing next to it blazing flame. The span, danced, throwing everything they had at the other.
Ai did not think. She had no idea how far her power reached. Her body acted naturally as if she had done nothing else. For every blocked hit she launched another, every attack avoided. They were locked in a wild dance. For every step Ai was forced back she pushed harder to push her opponent back. A every time she mustered power her opponent seemed to match it.
Risa could barely tell who was who anymore. She felt her eyes tear up. What she saw was two terrible creatures fighting viciously, to hurt, to kill. Two monsters. Was this was Ai was turning into? The horrible reality struck her suddenly. She was afraid. Afraid of her best friend. The kind smile she had seen almost every day for the last 6 years, would it to become like Yamato's cold, smug, sneer? The image of that lovable smile burst into her mind.
“Ai!” She cried out.
The voice cut right through the mad trance like state of mind Ai had found herself in. Her eyes fell on Risa. The gold flickered and disappeared. At the same second, as the fire in her eyes disappeared and she dropped her guard, Yamato struck. His fist came clean against her halfturned head. She was hurled over the ground, tumbling over, coming to a stop several feet away.
“You are strong.” Yamato whiped blood running from his broken lip. “But you are at your limits. You are still human. But not for long. So your weakness will be gone.”
“Weakness...?” Ai raised her head her dark eyes meeting Risa. She could barely move, her whole body protesting to any form of movement.
Yamato like one of them to the other. The cold laugh rang ones again in the court yard.
“Your humanity. Your weak, pathetic humanity. The weakness of mortality. Mortals are only meant to die.” A sudden grim spread across his face. A vile, evil grin of pure malice. He's cold eyes fell on Risa. “Maybe I should simply show you...” He took a step towards the girl sitting on the ground next to the wall. “...how fragile life is!”
Yamato raised his hand his body ready to shoot forward. He pushed off from the ground. Risa didn't have time to think. She just closed her eyes and screamed.
She felt a massive rush of air and felt the violent impact from the wall next to her. The whole wall shuddered and the was a loud sound of breaking. Risa dared to open one of her eyes. Through the dust she saw Yamato almost rammed through the stone wall. Ai stood in front of him, her fist pushed a fair into his ribcage. The wall behind Yamato had cracked from the force. His eyes blank.
Risa was about to yell out. Ai had won! They were safe! She looked up at her great savior. She felt a cold sensation.
Ai's face seemed to fade. The color disappeared and her eyes rolled back into her head. That was when her knees gave away. Ai fell down in front of her defeated opponent. Risa scrambled, on her knees she hurried to catch the unconscious girl.
The beautiful face fell down on her arm right next to her own face. Risa hurried to her feet and dragged Ai with her as she heard the wall give away, collapsing where they had where she had sat.
Risa sank down in the middle of the courtyard. She held Ai in her arms, staring at the pretty face. She looked peaceful and calm. Not like the vicious monster from before. She couldn't understand that it was the same person. She saw one of her tears fall on Ai's face. She was crying. She wasn't really sure why, she wasn't sure if she was happy or sad, but it didn't seem to matter. The two of them were together, as it should be.
“Ai-chan...” She said quietly. She had reached a conclusion in her mind. “You fought well, Ai-chan..” She had to dry some tears. “You did that to save me didn't you? You gave in to the monster to save me. I'm gonna believe that you did.” She stroked the pale cheeks. “I'm going to believe that you are no monster. You control the monster.” She chocked a laugh. “The Ai I know could never be a monster. That's why I will believe that you will never be.. That's why I will believe in you.”
Ai's eyelids trembled and slowly her eyes opened.
“R-risa?”
For a second Risa's heart beat twice as fast.
“I'm right here Ai-chan.” She embraced her savior.
Their moment was interrupted by an ominous murmur.
Under the pile of stone left from the wall Yamato was laying. He was mumbling something incomprehensibly under his breath. His finger was moving over the ground, drawing, with is own blood, a weird sign. A 8-pointed star within a circle.
The ground trembled. A loud, dry growl rose around the temple. Through the broken gate way a big crowd of dead, limping and dragging their feet. From under the ground all around them hands and arms shot up.
They were surrounded.
But at that moment. In that dark moment. A bright light sired through the gateway, illuminating the shapes of the zombies. The loud sound of a carhorn burst through the night closely followed by a rumbling 4x4 breaking through the undergrowth.
“Get out of the way damn dead things!” Reina shouted pounding on the horn.
We're sorry about that but there are limits to what we can do...Go read Hello!Pirates in my blog while waiting, updated chp 7:2 this week
here we go.... (lol how did things get so dark?
)Chapter 7
CLASH
Ai stood in the doorway, the half-rotten, half-crushed, dead body slowly sliding through her fingers. The flaring golden eyes stared at Yamato. The person in front of her was tall and handsome, he might have passed for the pretty boy next door had it not been for the fact that he did not look, nor was, human. It was more than just the golden eyes staring back at her that told her so. He had a strange glow about him, in his ashed skin and marked cheekbones. There was an aura about him that could be call nothing but evil. Ai knew that he was, beyond a doubt, a vampire. A real vampire.
“A-Ai...” Risa whimpered in a tiny voice. She grasped at the hand clinging to her hair.
Ai did not let her eyes leave the man for a second. But in the corner of her eye she could see the tears running down her friends cheeks, how the shirt was torn and dirty, how afraid and tormented the girl had been.
“Risa...?” Ai's voice trembled, she sounded as if she was close to tears, even as the burning fury in her eyes raged. “Was it... he..?”
She could not bring more to words. Her heart pounded in her ears and and her eyes burned. She felt as if she would burst from all the emotion soon. It would be too much for her any minute.
“So it's you, than?” Yamato spoke. He kept the eyecontact. “So your the real one.”
He let go of Risa's hair, the girl falling to the ground. He turned and took a step towards Ai.
“I have waited for you.” He said and he was smiling now. “I've wanted too meet someone like you for a long time.”
That smile. That smug cold hearted smile. It taunted her, it made her hate him more. She wanted to tear him in half. Only a nagging curiosity kept her from launching forward.
“Who.. are you.” She had to swallow her rage, tried to clutching her teeth. “And.. What do you want with me!?”
“Oh forgive me for not introducing myself.” Yamato almost laughed letting his arms swing out in a wild gesture. He bowed, or rather tilted his upped body slightly forward. “I am Yamato of the Keikan clan. I promise to tell you all about myself later but... first. You.”
One of the slender fingers pointed at her.
“Why me? What do you know about me!?” Ai demanded.
“You are perfect in the making.” He said matter of factly. “A vampire of the high blood line. The Ultimate newborn. You will help me restore my clan. You see I'm the last. Sure I can make people vampires but I need stronger blood to restore the power of the Kaikan. I need you.” He pointed ones again at her. “You will drink my blood, become a kin of my clan...” He eyed her in a greedily way. “And you will be my bride.”
“You don't know anything about me!?” She burst out. The man had stirred up so much feelings and frustration, she didn't know how to start. “How can you.. How dare you ask me to be your bride!? You don't know who I am, what kind of person I am. What..! What..!” She was gonna blow soon, she would do something drastic, she wouldn't be able to hold back. Even in her mad rage there was something about this vampire that drew her in. Maybe the fact that someone was offering her a place where she, even like this, would fit in. And finally her eyes fell on her friend sitting in a heap against the wall. The weird desire disappeared. “You don't know anything about what's important to me!”
Yamato laughed again. The cold laugher echoed around them.
“Non of those things matter. Who you were doesn't matter. Only how I can use you matters. And I wasn't asking.” The kind of friendly tone in he's voice disappeared. “You will be my bride and than you shall drink in my honor and show you complete submission.” The slender hand gestured towards Risa. “Seize her!”
Ai's body went cold. The world had suddenly taken a step further away. Would he make her kill her own friend? The only person who still saw the human in her, who had stayed with her despite all. The though rung in her mind. The foul creatures were coming at her from all sides. She could hear and see them approaching. Risa would die by her hands. Risa would die... the happy girl who always had a smile on her face. No! One of the creatures grabbed her shoulder. No, she wouldn't let it happen!
She grabbed the hand. She spun backwards and with a violent yeark the arm tore free from the dead body.
Cold fingers came at her from all sides. She let out a scream of rage. Everything was coming flowing out like a tidal wave. And she didn't not thing she would be able to stop it. But she didn't try to stop it. Not now.
With two high swiping kicks, following one another in close prosesion, the dead was thrown off their feet to fall broken to the ground.
Ai dropped into a low crouch. Pushing hard against the ground she shoot forward. She flew over the ground on all fours like a weasel. The speed was frightening even Yamato seemed to have been taken off guard. Ai's fists were locked her knocals whitening. In less than a second she had reached the place where the vampire was standing. Her fist shot forward in a wide swing, aiming right form the handsome face.
Yamato had been slow to react but when he did, a slit second before Ai's had would collide with his face, it was with the same inhuman speed.
Just as Risa thought Ai would strike him, he disappeared. Ai's fist hit nothing but air.
Her face first turned to confusion. Her instincts instantly kick in. He was right behind her!
“Now there's no need for that...” He began, but was abruptly interrupted.
Ai's body exploded in motion. She swirled around, her arm swinging like a flail. Yamato had barely time to throw up his guard. He blocked the strike just in time and his smug smile was about to return and he would continue. But his plan was again interrupted as another strike launched for his face, then another. Ai's arms swirled in a continues motion, throwing hit after hit at him. Yamato fought his best just to block but Ai was pushing him back. He had neither time to smile nor talk. Ai didn't let him. She didn't want to hear what he had to say. This was over due. She was desperate to hurt him.
Finally he was able to grab one of the arms. Just as he was about to counter attack, Ai threw leg up high taking a kick at head hight. He blocked with his over hand but only to see Ai's second leg come flying in. With her free hand balancing down on the ground she let her legs kick in a violent spin. The second kick hit dead center. The force of the kick pulled Yamato along with the spin. Ai spinning lose from the grip on her hand, leaped back a step.
The moment Yamato hit the ground he rolled up on his feet throwing Ai a nasty glear. The two stood, poised and ready to strike, eying each other. Yamato face was cold and murderous, Ai burning with fury. A short moment past. But as suddenly as a lightning strike the both of them launched forth.
The only Risa could see was a hazy blur of movement. They were moving so fast that her eyes couldn't follow. Yamato was like a flickering shadow dancing over the ground, Ai's shape dancing next to it blazing flame. The span, danced, throwing everything they had at the other.
Ai did not think. She had no idea how far her power reached. Her body acted naturally as if she had done nothing else. For every blocked hit she launched another, every attack avoided. They were locked in a wild dance. For every step Ai was forced back she pushed harder to push her opponent back. A every time she mustered power her opponent seemed to match it.
Risa could barely tell who was who anymore. She felt her eyes tear up. What she saw was two terrible creatures fighting viciously, to hurt, to kill. Two monsters. Was this was Ai was turning into? The horrible reality struck her suddenly. She was afraid. Afraid of her best friend. The kind smile she had seen almost every day for the last 6 years, would it to become like Yamato's cold, smug, sneer? The image of that lovable smile burst into her mind.
“Ai!” She cried out.
The voice cut right through the mad trance like state of mind Ai had found herself in. Her eyes fell on Risa. The gold flickered and disappeared. At the same second, as the fire in her eyes disappeared and she dropped her guard, Yamato struck. His fist came clean against her halfturned head. She was hurled over the ground, tumbling over, coming to a stop several feet away.
“You are strong.” Yamato whiped blood running from his broken lip. “But you are at your limits. You are still human. But not for long. So your weakness will be gone.”
“Weakness...?” Ai raised her head her dark eyes meeting Risa. She could barely move, her whole body protesting to any form of movement.
Yamato like one of them to the other. The cold laugh rang ones again in the court yard.
“Your humanity. Your weak, pathetic humanity. The weakness of mortality. Mortals are only meant to die.” A sudden grim spread across his face. A vile, evil grin of pure malice. He's cold eyes fell on Risa. “Maybe I should simply show you...” He took a step towards the girl sitting on the ground next to the wall. “...how fragile life is!”
Yamato raised his hand his body ready to shoot forward. He pushed off from the ground. Risa didn't have time to think. She just closed her eyes and screamed.
She felt a massive rush of air and felt the violent impact from the wall next to her. The whole wall shuddered and the was a loud sound of breaking. Risa dared to open one of her eyes. Through the dust she saw Yamato almost rammed through the stone wall. Ai stood in front of him, her fist pushed a fair into his ribcage. The wall behind Yamato had cracked from the force. His eyes blank.
Risa was about to yell out. Ai had won! They were safe! She looked up at her great savior. She felt a cold sensation.
Ai's face seemed to fade. The color disappeared and her eyes rolled back into her head. That was when her knees gave away. Ai fell down in front of her defeated opponent. Risa scrambled, on her knees she hurried to catch the unconscious girl.
The beautiful face fell down on her arm right next to her own face. Risa hurried to her feet and dragged Ai with her as she heard the wall give away, collapsing where they had where she had sat.
Risa sank down in the middle of the courtyard. She held Ai in her arms, staring at the pretty face. She looked peaceful and calm. Not like the vicious monster from before. She couldn't understand that it was the same person. She saw one of her tears fall on Ai's face. She was crying. She wasn't really sure why, she wasn't sure if she was happy or sad, but it didn't seem to matter. The two of them were together, as it should be.
“Ai-chan...” She said quietly. She had reached a conclusion in her mind. “You fought well, Ai-chan..” She had to dry some tears. “You did that to save me didn't you? You gave in to the monster to save me. I'm gonna believe that you did.” She stroked the pale cheeks. “I'm going to believe that you are no monster. You control the monster.” She chocked a laugh. “The Ai I know could never be a monster. That's why I will believe that you will never be.. That's why I will believe in you.”
Ai's eyelids trembled and slowly her eyes opened.
“R-risa?”
For a second Risa's heart beat twice as fast.
“I'm right here Ai-chan.” She embraced her savior.
Their moment was interrupted by an ominous murmur.
Under the pile of stone left from the wall Yamato was laying. He was mumbling something incomprehensibly under his breath. His finger was moving over the ground, drawing, with is own blood, a weird sign. A 8-pointed star within a circle.
The ground trembled. A loud, dry growl rose around the temple. Through the broken gate way a big crowd of dead, limping and dragging their feet. From under the ground all around them hands and arms shot up.
They were surrounded.
But at that moment. In that dark moment. A bright light sired through the gateway, illuminating the shapes of the zombies. The loud sound of a carhorn burst through the night closely followed by a rumbling 4x4 breaking through the undergrowth.
“Get out of the way damn dead things!” Reina shouted pounding on the horn.
#225
kamegoo
-
- Senpai
-
- 4517 posts
Graduated member
Posted 06 September 2008 - 11:07 AM
yay. omg. finally.
gosh, i didnt even have a chance to help.
hahaha.
anyway. going on to the 8th chapter~
wooo.
gosh, i didnt even have a chance to help.
hahaha.
anyway. going on to the 8th chapter~
wooo.
cr: R/M & SweetHoney
#226
ミ☆ Ｍｕｓｈｒｏｏｍ ☆
-
- Senpai
-
- 1309 posts
Graduated member
Posted 06 September 2008 - 11:56 AM
“Get out of the way damn dead things!” Reina shouted pounding on the horn.
Yay~~ Reina~~~you rocks~~ thank you~~
#227
YukixNatsu
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- Senpai
-
- 661 posts
Why life time have to be short when you could live longer?
Posted 06 September 2008 - 12:29 PM
Great chapter ^^
Aichan is so strong http://www.hello-onl...tyle_emoticons/hello-online/c13.gif
Reina at the end so funny ^^
Thank you
Aichan is so strong http://www.hello-onl...tyle_emoticons/hello-online/c13.gif
Reina at the end so funny ^^
Thank you
#228
kamegoo
-
- Senpai
-
- 4517 posts
Graduated member
Posted 06 September 2008 - 12:32 PM
hell yeahz to ODORI! woot woot~
cr: R/M & SweetHoney
#229
different_side
-
- Kouhai
-
- 451 posts
2nd gen member
Posted 06 September 2008 - 01:21 PM
I like this chapter too
can't wait for the rest
can't wait for the rest
Check my Personal Profile for more TakaGaki
#230
sweeety
-
- Kouhai
-
- 208 posts
4th gen member
Posted 06 September 2008 - 02:48 PM
oh thank the sweeet lord!
*wipes sweat off forehead*
now they are safe-r they can work on that relationship
oh how I do hope they get together
and huzzzah for our saviours TanaKame!
*wipes sweat off forehead*
now they are safe-r they can work on that relationship
oh how I do hope they get together
and huzzzah for our saviours TanaKame!
#231
Odori
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- Senpai
-
- 544 posts
Woohoho~~!
Posted 06 September 2008 - 02:57 PM
hahaa, hey look people liked it ^^ yay
got a bit violent.. sort of... haha I was really hungry when i wrote the first half, kinda set the mood for it...
In the end i was running a bit dry on ideas, so I told myself: "Think like Ima-chan"
haha sorryy from being so slow though, kinda busy life at the moment
got a bit violent.. sort of... haha I was really hungry when i wrote the first half, kinda set the mood for it...
In the end i was running a bit dry on ideas, so I told myself: "Think like Ima-chan"
haha sorryy from being so slow though, kinda busy life at the moment
#232
KaPouk
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- Senpai
-
- 1906 posts
After "WHAT" I run ? Can you tell me...
Posted 06 September 2008 - 04:21 PM
Kyaa~~
I love it~~
Really good job
Aichan is so awesome and strong.
Can't wait to read next chapter >__<
I love it~~
Really good job
Aichan is so awesome and strong.
Can't wait to read next chapter >__<
"I'm never gonna say goodbye....when you taste it....you gonna be addicted =] "
#233
Xeqcme
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- Kouhai
-
- 127 posts
5th gen member
Posted 06 September 2008 - 04:52 PM
This chapter! This can explain what I meant last time.
Tensed mood>Intense fighting>Sad scene>Dramatic "What now?!">>big shift to>>Stupid Reina
Anyways...lol stupid Reina.
“Get out of the way damn dead things!”
Great chapter! Great fight scene!
Tensed mood>Intense fighting>Sad scene>Dramatic "What now?!">>big shift to>>Stupid Reina
Anyways...lol stupid Reina.
“Get out of the way damn dead things!”
Great chapter! Great fight scene!
#234
WinterAir
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- Senpai
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- 672 posts
Graduated member
Posted 07 September 2008 - 07:34 AM
A chapter thats nicely written ^^ Could totally imagine the way ai-chan was fighting ^^ the kicks and spins 
so awesome, lol it was totally like an action flick in my head, and then with a really sweet moment of ai and risa together ^^ haha reina has come to save the pair ^^
so awesome, lol it was totally like an action flick in my head, and then with a really sweet moment of ai and risa together ^^ haha reina has come to save the pair ^^
Siggy made by Kawaii-Chan(Kawaii_Beam) <33 Avatar made by SweetHoney
DYAF (devil yet angelic family) 4ever~~~
AKA DAH Family
#235
Director_Maiha
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- Senpai
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- 1537 posts
Graduated member
Posted 07 September 2008 - 08:24 AM
YAY FOR Reina! She's so awesome screaming "Get out the way damn dead things!"
And nice descriptive scene, totally captured my attention. Keep this going~
And nice descriptive scene, totally captured my attention. Keep this going~
Reina=Queen(spanish)+Reina=Perfect(japanese)=Reina is a perfect queen.
喜欢是淡淡的爱。爱是深深的喜欢。
#236
Odori
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- Senpai
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- 544 posts
Woohoho~~!
Posted 07 September 2008 - 08:45 AM
YumePouk: Haha thank u ^^
Xeqme: Yeah I get what u mean... but this time I kinda did it all... so I guess it's just a refleextion of my confused mind
I may have to give an explenation why it turned out that way. U see we had decided to write some diffrent thing, but I kinda went ahead and well it got long enough for a whole chapter but worry not there will be more Ima in the next chap ^^
WinterAir: well, I've alyays wanted to learn how to write things like these (not nesseserily with MM
). I'm flattered that you liked it. Still I hope to improve a bit...
maiha4ever: Thanks ahhaha. With that ava u kinda got my attention (pancakes right?) hungry now...
Xeqme: Yeah I get what u mean... but this time I kinda did it all... so I guess it's just a refleextion of my confused mind
I may have to give an explenation why it turned out that way. U see we had decided to write some diffrent thing, but I kinda went ahead and well it got long enough for a whole chapter
but worry not there will be more Ima in the next chap ^^WinterAir: well, I've alyays wanted to learn how to write things like these (not nesseserily with MM
). I'm flattered that you liked it. Still I hope to improve a bit...maiha4ever: Thanks ahhaha. With that ava u kinda got my attention (pancakes right?) hungry now...
#237
sSlayer
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- Kouhai
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- 544 posts
1st gen member
Posted 07 September 2008 - 09:21 PM
^I thought it was pudding? Lmao, well then it's PUDCAKE as Ai-chan puts it. 
Totally agreeable w/ the "capture my attention thing," it's like OMGZ DIRECTOR MAIHA COMMENTED ON MY STORY. ....that or it's cus u're really hungry
Nice job Odori, I love the fighting scenes and the descriptions of Yamato.
Totally agreeable w/ the "capture my attention thing," it's like OMGZ DIRECTOR MAIHA COMMENTED ON MY STORY. ....that or it's cus u're really hungryNice job Odori, I love the fighting scenes and the descriptions of Yamato.
Credits goes to kawaiibeam of the DAH family!
#238
suaracheerios
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- Senpai
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- 855 posts
Clinically proven to lower cholesterol!
Posted 08 September 2008 - 04:05 AM
OH MY GOODNESS!
I hadn't been able to read the most recent chapters but I finally caught up tonight! Badass Aichan is awesome. I wonder if that is really the end of Yamato though~? It seems a guy like that wouldn't go down so easily lol. The fight scenes were very well written and I love the end of chapter 7! Can't wait for more!
Waaahh excellent writing guys! I love this story.
I hadn't been able to read the most recent chapters but I finally caught up tonight! Badass Aichan is awesome.
I wonder if that is really the end of Yamato though~? It seems a guy like that wouldn't go down so easily lol. The fight scenes were very well written and I love the end of chapter 7! Can't wait for more!Waaahh excellent writing guys! I love this story.
Why... American food... BIG SIZE?
#239
Jingkoto
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- Shinmem
- 79 posts
6th gen member
Posted 08 September 2008 - 01:00 PM
yay~ new chapter
this new chapter had more great action in there
is like an awsome movie
wait for a new chapter ^^ Ganbatte~
this new chapter had more great action in there
is like an awsome movie wait for a new chapter ^^ Ganbatte~
We will miss you, Ume-chan
#240
Odori
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- Senpai
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- 544 posts
Woohoho~~!
Posted 09 September 2008 - 05:46 AM
sSlayer: Damn right Im hungry ahah Oishiisou....
lot of things to do at the moment... did do some writing yesterday.. and I'll try today as well but...
It's going to be busy... I know Ima won't have to much time to write this week, but she has come somewhere at least..
haha it's trailing writing two things at ones too hahaha not to mantions a few side projects I always find myself working on... and not to mention school LOL
I hope we can get a chap together for this weekend.. I should be able to to my part till then but still, Ima is busy till friday so... well we'll see ^^
Looking forward to let u all read when we're done
lot of things to do at the moment... did do some writing yesterday.. and I'll try today as well but...
It's going to be busy... I know Ima won't have to much time to write this week, but she has come somewhere at least..
haha it's trailing writing two things at ones too
hahaha not to mantions a few side projects I always find myself working on... and not to mention school LOLI hope we can get a chap together for this weekend.. I should be able to to my part till then but still, Ima is busy till friday so... well we'll see ^^
Looking forward to let u all read when we're done
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