0
Koharu, Reina, & the Butt Guy: NatiCoral Academy Aug 21 2009 - Day 1 of 2
Posted by Mizer,
06 November 2009
·
705 views
TV
Koharu and Reina on FBS NatiCoral Gakuen TV in Fukuoka August 21, 2009 (Day 1 of 2)
The NatiCoral Academy
Koharu Kusumi and Reina Tanaka with Yu Saito, Shiho Namba, Minatsu Konishi
This program was taped on August 5, 2009 as part of the "Nanchatte Renai" promotion. It was filmed outdoors in a Fukuoka passageway between some multi-level shopping malls before a crowd of people. It’s hosted by a comedian named Yu Saito, who is accompanied by two girls, a quiet Shiho Namba, and a Yankii-girl, Minatsu Konishi. The program is actually somehat similar to the old Haromoni@’s “MouTube” segment, where you see video clips of amateurs showing off some type of “talent,” but here the performers appear on stage after their clip is shown to do a live version of their act. Much of the banter on the show involves wisecracks about how lame the guests and the program itself are. (You can see these show via the four YouTube clips linked throughout this translation--Many thanks to YouTuber "gorita1o0i"!)
August 21 Broadcast: First Half (click)
The girls, who are special guests, are introduced to the audience as clips from “Nanchatte Renai” are shown to TV viewers.
Saito: Reina, you’re from Fukuoka, aren’t you?
Reina: Right.
Saito: Fukuoka has a lot of weird people, doesn’t it?
Reina: [nervous laugh]
Saito: You can’t say that, can you?
Saito explains that the show features weird people.
KK: Eh. We’ve seen the show.
Saito: You have?
KK: Yes. We were given the DVD and the two of us sat and watched [makes sitting gesture] in one sitting.
Saito: Did you find any NatiCoral episode interesting?
Reina: The butt!
KK: The guy who had his butt seared. [Inset shows a clip of a guy getting a spinning bike wheel applied to his butt]
Saito: Ah! Takao Meijin. Basically, people who can’t make it onto other programs appear here.
[girls laugh]
KK: Is that right?
“Heavenly Gods Rollout”
Saito tells the girls not to hold back with their criticisms. Reina notes that one of the co-hosts, Minatsu (a yankii-type girl), has a poison tongue. The Minatsu says that poison is all that comes out. KK says that Reina is like that. Reina starts laughing and with prodding by Saito, admits to it. Saito assures her that some of the participants would appreciate the criticism.
The first “NatiCoralist” is a Kurume University student who does an impression of the teen actor, Miura Haruma, star of the hit film, Koizora. Unfortunately, the impersonation consists solely of mimicking the actor’s stupid grin. The guy introduces himself as the VTR clip begins.
Keiji: I’m Shimakawa Keiji . . .
KK: Huh? His voice . . . his voice is really quiet.
Keiji: I’m going to do an impression of a poster of Miura Haruma. [freezes into a pose for a couple of seconds]
The Musumes are stunned by the lameness of this act.
Saito: That looks like him!
Reina: Is that all?
Saito: Thank you very much!
Reina: That was a short clip.
The guy appears on stage
Saito: He looks like him. He looks like him! [pointing to a skeptical Reina and KK] See, he looks so much like him they’re speechless. [Musumes laugh]
Then the girls are each asked to provide a scenario for his impersonation.
KK: Well, I’d like to see a “banana-eating Miura Haruma.”
The guy does it, but KK steps right in:
KK: I could see the whites of his eyes!
Reina laughingly tells him to do Haruma in the bathtub. The guy sits down and does the goofy grin. Reina doubles over.
KK: I think he’s starting to look like him!!
[Everyone cracks up; crowd applauds.]
August 21 Broadcast: Last Half (click)
“The Magic Show"
Next is a “magic” act. The VTR clip shows two guys doing the old trick where someone picks one card out of the deck and the magician throws the cards in the air and catches the selected card, except in this case they’re not using cards—the participant has to select one of the magician’s ten fingers. [This bit is actually pretty funny.] The Musumes aren’t impressed.
KK: What? I could do that. Should I do it? [KK seems ready to do that same trick herself]
Reina: That’s no good! [She then says something in Fukuoka dialect that’s not clear but is something like: “If we do that, we’ll lose our purity.”]
Saito: [There’s an edit in the program during which Reina apparently says “amazing.”] When you say this is “amazing,” are you saying it’s amazing that it made to TV?
Reina: Definitely. That takes a lot of courage. [That is, courage to do an act that crappy.]
The talent duo is asked to come on stage, but only one guy, Junya Nagai, appears.
KK: Huh. He’s alone?
Saito: Yay! Nagai-san has arrived! [applause] He’s gone through many auditions to get here.
KK: No—uuhhh—really!? Is it all right to join in?
[laughter]
KK: [still wanting to try] I’m confident we’d succeed.
Nagai announces that he’d like to do a clairvoyance trick but needs a volunteer. He points to a man in the audience: “You, sir. Would you come up?” Of course, it turns out to be not a random spectator but his partner, Mihara, who acts surprised and meekly comes up on the stage dressed exactly as Nagai is, in a dark gray suit and tie. Nagai the magician claims that he can predict in advance a word Mihara will say in three seconds. Nagai then applies a hard whack to the arm of Mihara, who says, “Ouch!” Exclaiming, “Can you believe it?” Nagai pulls from his breast pocket a piece of paper that says, “Ouch!”
Saito: There it is! Really, Tanaka-san, all you can do is be envious, no?
Nagai: There’s nothing to envy.
Reina: That’s right. I regret having expected anything.
Saito: Kusumi-san, how was it?
KK: Uhhhmm. . . [laughs]
Spin Spin Sword Catch: The Butt Guy
Saito: [Seeing the name of the next guest on his clipboard] Ah, this is definitely “Mr. NatiCoral” coming up.
Reina: Sounds like another disaster.
The display screen says, “Spin Spin Sword Catch.”
KK: Is this the butt guy?
Saito: It’s not “the butt guy”! [It is the same person, but Saito means that the performer doesn’t call himself “butt guy.”
Narrator: [voice over the picture and ID of the 22-year old guest:] Can he win over the hearts of the Musumes? It’s Mr. NatiCoral, Takao Meijin!
“Mr. NatiCoral” has the “talent” of using his bare hands to stop a blow from a wooden sword. The VTR clip shows how he makes himself dizzy by spinning himself around and then being able to stop a blow to his head by clasping his hands together. Actually, it takes two tries; the first attempt results in his getting smacked. As he spins around for his second try, Reina says with some concern, “He’s going to flame out”; this time he’s successful. [Crowd applauds at VTR clip]
Saito: He did it!!
Reina: Wonderful.
Takao himself now hops on stage holding a wooden sword and takes a bow.
KK: HE’S SHORT!!
Reina: How tall are you?
Takao: I am 153 cm.
Reina: Oh, I lose. I’m only 151.5 cm.
Saito: Kusumi-san, if you could come over and just stand next to him . . . [KK, who’s in heels, stands next to Takao, whom she towers over]
Takao: She’s big! [KK flashes the peace sign]
Saito: Aren’t you happy? Getting to appear with Morning Musume?
Takao: Uh, really . . . really, like they’re totally a lot cuter than I thought they’d be. [Saito whacks him on the head with a clipboard. The Musumes laugh, with KK clapping.]
Today, Takao claims he can stand on his head and, by using his feet, stop a stick from whacking his butt. The first “assistant” is Reina, who manages to get him, apparently, right in his crotch (or worse).
Saito doubles over in sympathy.
Saito: Are you all right?
Takao: [gets up and bows] Thank you very much. [as if he succeeded]
Saito: What? Maybe I was hallucinating but it seemed that you didn’t make it.
Takao: No, it was definitely perfect!
Saito: Shall we watch it in slow motion? Please. [Saito signals for VTR, which clearly shows Reina’s stick making contact]
Saito: You didn’t do it!! [smacks Takao on the head]
Takao: I thought a girl would be slower
Saito: This is Fukuoka. [to Reina] Did that feel good?
Reina: Yes! It felt good.
At KK’s gets ready for her turn, the guy panics, seeing that she was holding her stick “baseball bat style”; he jumps up and tells her he can’t handle a roundhouse swing—only a straight ahead one. Perhaps reacting to this warning, KK swung perhaps a bit more cautiously than she might have otherwise, and the guy successfully blocks the stick between the soles of his feet. KK looked concerned afterward for not whacking the guy, and asked the host whether she was a bit too [in English] “slow.”
Saito: [addressing Takao after his triumph] Are you going to rest tomorrow?
Takao: Tomorrow it’d be fine if I quit show business.
Saito: [to MM:] What did you think of Takao?
Reina: He made the biggest impression so far.
Saito: Ah, apparently! He’s cute, isn’t he?
Reina: Yeah, in a “short guy” way.
Saito: You can take him home with you.
Reina & KK: No! That’s OK!
[laughter by all]
KK: [patting Reina on the arm] Having Tanaka-san from Fukuoka province is enough. [Reina laughs] One is enough.
Saito: [pleading Takao’s case:] But he goes over to Tokyo all the time.
[Both Musumes laugh]
Saito then holds up a handwritten sign that he reads aloud: “Takao Meijin: Checks the Mixi page of the girl who dumped him more than every 10 minutes!” [gets a big laugh]
KK: Scary!
The girls do a quick promo for “Nanchatte” before signing off.
[End of August 21 Broadcast]
Komments
Catch the second part, broadcast on August 28, here: Koharu, Reina & The Gorilla Girl
The NatiCoral Academy
Koharu Kusumi and Reina Tanaka with Yu Saito, Shiho Namba, Minatsu Konishi
This program was taped on August 5, 2009 as part of the "Nanchatte Renai" promotion. It was filmed outdoors in a Fukuoka passageway between some multi-level shopping malls before a crowd of people. It’s hosted by a comedian named Yu Saito, who is accompanied by two girls, a quiet Shiho Namba, and a Yankii-girl, Minatsu Konishi. The program is actually somehat similar to the old Haromoni@’s “MouTube” segment, where you see video clips of amateurs showing off some type of “talent,” but here the performers appear on stage after their clip is shown to do a live version of their act. Much of the banter on the show involves wisecracks about how lame the guests and the program itself are. (You can see these show via the four YouTube clips linked throughout this translation--Many thanks to YouTuber "gorita1o0i"!)
August 21 Broadcast: First Half (click)
The girls, who are special guests, are introduced to the audience as clips from “Nanchatte Renai” are shown to TV viewers.
Saito: Reina, you’re from Fukuoka, aren’t you?
Reina: Right.
Saito: Fukuoka has a lot of weird people, doesn’t it?
Reina: [nervous laugh]
Saito: You can’t say that, can you?
Saito explains that the show features weird people.
KK: Eh. We’ve seen the show.
Saito: You have?
KK: Yes. We were given the DVD and the two of us sat and watched [makes sitting gesture] in one sitting.
Saito: Did you find any NatiCoral episode interesting?
Reina: The butt!
KK: The guy who had his butt seared. [Inset shows a clip of a guy getting a spinning bike wheel applied to his butt]
Saito: Ah! Takao Meijin. Basically, people who can’t make it onto other programs appear here.
[girls laugh]
KK: Is that right?
“Heavenly Gods Rollout”
Saito tells the girls not to hold back with their criticisms. Reina notes that one of the co-hosts, Minatsu (a yankii-type girl), has a poison tongue. The Minatsu says that poison is all that comes out. KK says that Reina is like that. Reina starts laughing and with prodding by Saito, admits to it. Saito assures her that some of the participants would appreciate the criticism.
The first “NatiCoralist” is a Kurume University student who does an impression of the teen actor, Miura Haruma, star of the hit film, Koizora. Unfortunately, the impersonation consists solely of mimicking the actor’s stupid grin. The guy introduces himself as the VTR clip begins.
Keiji: I’m Shimakawa Keiji . . .
KK: Huh? His voice . . . his voice is really quiet.
Keiji: I’m going to do an impression of a poster of Miura Haruma. [freezes into a pose for a couple of seconds]
The Musumes are stunned by the lameness of this act.
Saito: That looks like him!
Reina: Is that all?
Saito: Thank you very much!
Reina: That was a short clip.
The guy appears on stage
Saito: He looks like him. He looks like him! [pointing to a skeptical Reina and KK] See, he looks so much like him they’re speechless. [Musumes laugh]
Then the girls are each asked to provide a scenario for his impersonation.
KK: Well, I’d like to see a “banana-eating Miura Haruma.”
The guy does it, but KK steps right in:
KK: I could see the whites of his eyes!
Reina laughingly tells him to do Haruma in the bathtub. The guy sits down and does the goofy grin. Reina doubles over.
KK: I think he’s starting to look like him!!
[Everyone cracks up; crowd applauds.]August 21 Broadcast: Last Half (click)
“The Magic Show"
Next is a “magic” act. The VTR clip shows two guys doing the old trick where someone picks one card out of the deck and the magician throws the cards in the air and catches the selected card, except in this case they’re not using cards—the participant has to select one of the magician’s ten fingers. [This bit is actually pretty funny.] The Musumes aren’t impressed.
KK: What? I could do that. Should I do it? [KK seems ready to do that same trick herself]
Reina: That’s no good! [She then says something in Fukuoka dialect that’s not clear but is something like: “If we do that, we’ll lose our purity.”]
Saito: [There’s an edit in the program during which Reina apparently says “amazing.”] When you say this is “amazing,” are you saying it’s amazing that it made to TV?
Reina: Definitely. That takes a lot of courage. [That is, courage to do an act that crappy.]
The talent duo is asked to come on stage, but only one guy, Junya Nagai, appears.
KK: Huh. He’s alone?
Saito: Yay! Nagai-san has arrived! [applause] He’s gone through many auditions to get here.
KK: No—uuhhh—really!? Is it all right to join in?
[laughter]
KK: [still wanting to try] I’m confident we’d succeed.
Nagai announces that he’d like to do a clairvoyance trick but needs a volunteer. He points to a man in the audience: “You, sir. Would you come up?” Of course, it turns out to be not a random spectator but his partner, Mihara, who acts surprised and meekly comes up on the stage dressed exactly as Nagai is, in a dark gray suit and tie. Nagai the magician claims that he can predict in advance a word Mihara will say in three seconds. Nagai then applies a hard whack to the arm of Mihara, who says, “Ouch!” Exclaiming, “Can you believe it?” Nagai pulls from his breast pocket a piece of paper that says, “Ouch!”
Saito: There it is! Really, Tanaka-san, all you can do is be envious, no?
Nagai: There’s nothing to envy.
Reina: That’s right. I regret having expected anything.
Saito: Kusumi-san, how was it?
KK: Uhhhmm. . . [laughs]
Spin Spin Sword Catch: The Butt Guy
Saito: [Seeing the name of the next guest on his clipboard] Ah, this is definitely “Mr. NatiCoral” coming up.
Reina: Sounds like another disaster.
The display screen says, “Spin Spin Sword Catch.”
KK: Is this the butt guy?
Saito: It’s not “the butt guy”! [It is the same person, but Saito means that the performer doesn’t call himself “butt guy.”
Narrator: [voice over the picture and ID of the 22-year old guest:] Can he win over the hearts of the Musumes? It’s Mr. NatiCoral, Takao Meijin!
“Mr. NatiCoral” has the “talent” of using his bare hands to stop a blow from a wooden sword. The VTR clip shows how he makes himself dizzy by spinning himself around and then being able to stop a blow to his head by clasping his hands together. Actually, it takes two tries; the first attempt results in his getting smacked. As he spins around for his second try, Reina says with some concern, “He’s going to flame out”; this time he’s successful. [Crowd applauds at VTR clip]
Saito: He did it!!
Reina: Wonderful.
Takao himself now hops on stage holding a wooden sword and takes a bow.
KK: HE’S SHORT!!
Reina: How tall are you?
Takao: I am 153 cm.
Reina: Oh, I lose. I’m only 151.5 cm.
Saito: Kusumi-san, if you could come over and just stand next to him . . . [KK, who’s in heels, stands next to Takao, whom she towers over]
Takao: She’s big! [KK flashes the peace sign]
Saito: Aren’t you happy? Getting to appear with Morning Musume?
Takao: Uh, really . . . really, like they’re totally a lot cuter than I thought they’d be.
[Saito whacks him on the head with a clipboard. The Musumes laugh, with KK clapping.]Today, Takao claims he can stand on his head and, by using his feet, stop a stick from whacking his butt. The first “assistant” is Reina, who manages to get him, apparently, right in his crotch (or worse).
Saito doubles over in sympathy.
Saito: Are you all right?
Takao: [gets up and bows] Thank you very much. [as if he succeeded]
Saito: What? Maybe I was hallucinating but it seemed that you didn’t make it.
Takao: No, it was definitely perfect!
Saito: Shall we watch it in slow motion? Please. [Saito signals for VTR, which clearly shows Reina’s stick making contact]
Saito: You didn’t do it!! [smacks Takao on the head]
Takao: I thought a girl would be slower
Saito: This is Fukuoka. [to Reina] Did that feel good?
Reina: Yes! It felt good.
At KK’s gets ready for her turn, the guy panics, seeing that she was holding her stick “baseball bat style”; he jumps up and tells her he can’t handle a roundhouse swing—only a straight ahead one. Perhaps reacting to this warning, KK swung perhaps a bit more cautiously than she might have otherwise, and the guy successfully blocks the stick between the soles of his feet. KK looked concerned afterward for not whacking the guy, and asked the host whether she was a bit too [in English] “slow.”
Saito: [addressing Takao after his triumph] Are you going to rest tomorrow?
Takao: Tomorrow it’d be fine if I quit show business.
Saito: [to MM:] What did you think of Takao?
Reina: He made the biggest impression so far.
Saito: Ah, apparently! He’s cute, isn’t he?
Reina: Yeah, in a “short guy” way.
Saito: You can take him home with you.
Reina & KK: No! That’s OK!
[laughter by all]
KK: [patting Reina on the arm] Having Tanaka-san from Fukuoka province is enough. [Reina laughs] One is enough.
Saito: [pleading Takao’s case:] But he goes over to Tokyo all the time.
[Both Musumes laugh]
Saito then holds up a handwritten sign that he reads aloud: “Takao Meijin: Checks the Mixi page of the girl who dumped him more than every 10 minutes!” [gets a big laugh]
KK: Scary!
The girls do a quick promo for “Nanchatte” before signing off.
[End of August 21 Broadcast]
Komments
- KK and Reina make a great pair. They sounded so comfortable with each other on their recent radio interviews, and here you can see it. It's really fitting that the first guest was doing an impersonation of the actor from "Koizora," since on one of her early radio shows Tanaka recounted how she and Koharu went to see that movie together and though neither of them cried out loud, at the end of the screening each of them had a tear rolling down her right eye for some strange reason. TanaKoha=
- I love how Koharu-chan treats the vertically-challenged with such sensitivity.
- Reina-chan, we always knew you were a ball-buster.
Catch the second part, broadcast on August 28, here: Koharu, Reina & The Gorilla Girl
