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[Hexoone]

This is going to get very interesting~ cant wait ohhh the anticipation~

perfect reading material after a stressful day..

[Apple Cake]

thank you to those who read this fanfic

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENFO!

Chapter 10: Game Start!

Nobihiko-san briefs us about the audition for an hour, dutifully explaining in detail every single step, and all the significant rules and regulations to look out for. He also informs us that there'll be several cameras hidden in certain (respectable) places, and that most of our lessons and the final performances will be filmed as well.

Everyone nods in earnest, but I'm sure that inside they're all squirming to get out of the room and start singing and dancing our way into Morning Musume.

At last, we are dismissed and ferried to a studio where we will have our first singing lesson. As we make our way down the airy hall, I nibble my lip in anticipation.

When we reach one of the doors, Yume grabs my hand. I squeeze back, and my heart thumps inside my chest. This just gets more and more exciting!

The staff member pushes open the door to reveal an airy studio with a piano, and several mic stands clustered in a corner.

A thin middle-aged lady with streaks of auburn locks is perched on the piano stool, shuffling a pile of papers in her hands.

As we enter, we chorus "shitsureishimasu" again, and stand in a line before her. She looks up and nods, surveying us all interestedly.

"Hanaki...Takasu...Kimura...Nakano...Fujiwara." She reads off our name tags and nods again. "Yes, that's right. Welcome to my studio. I'll be teaching you the songs and helping with the vocal portion of this audition. Please call me Ito-san. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!"

"Hai!" We call out. "Onegaishimasu!"

Ito-san starts handing out sheets of paper to us, as we sit down on the floor.

"Thank you," I mutter as she places a thin stapled stack in my hands. I run my eyes down the page. As I flip through the stack, the pages are filled with lyrics, with notes on the last page with singing tips. What song is this? I've never read these lyrics before.

I flick my gaze to the top of the first page. "C-ute: Aitai Lonely Christmas", the header reads.

Eh? Is this a new song? A new single? I feel another wave of excitement wash over me. This is so cool! We're going to be singing this? Has anyone else even seen this song before? I mean, besides C-ute, obviously.

"Aitai Lonely Christmas is C-ute's new single, and this will be the theme song that you will be practising for the audition camp," Ito-san is saying. "You are the first of the general public to know this song." Ha!

I skim through the lyrics.

"Can I spend my Christmas with you/This is the first time I feel this way..." First time? Aren't they supposed to be lovers?

"Our time on the phone has become shorter/Bit by bit." Obviously they're not that well-matched.

"I guess I'm a coward/Just waiting like this..." You are.

Oh right, I'm not supposed to be criticizing the depressing lyrics. I continue reading, trying to absorb the emotions and atmosphere of the song.

"It's a song about two lovers who are losing the magic in their relationship, isn't it Ito-san?" Hitomi says loudly.

Ito-san looks amusedly at her. "You're right. But you forgot the main point―it's Christmas." She adds.

Next to me, Yume snickers under her breath as Hitomi flushes.

Ito-san picks up a CD. "I'll play you the soundtrack," she says, and feeds the disc into the stereo. Our ears bloom attentively, as we wait to hear the song.

Delicate piano notes trickle out of the speakers, the sign of a lovely ballad. Then a sharp, bass beat jumps into a scene. I listen interestedly as the song unfolds.

As the first lines play, I mouth the lyrics, trying to burn them into memory. "Aitai no ni...aitai no ni..."

It actually is a nice song, even with the whiny lyrics. The more I listen, the catchier it becomes to my ears.

Ito-san plays it a few more times, pointing out the places with high notes, where we should stretch the notes, and so on. By the fourth time, I can tell we've pretty much got it down. We're already mumble-singing along to it, bobbing our heads to the beat.

Then, Ito-san asks us to sing it together. We sing it easily enough, and I think we sound pretty sweet! When we finish, Ito-san approaches me without warning, and I almost blanch right then and there. She's so close I'm staring directly at her ample wool-covered bosom.

"I want all of you to take turns to sing by yourself." She nods at me. "Hanaki, you're first."

Maji desu ka? No, get a grip. She just wants me to sing, not go to labour camp.

"Sure!" I squeak, trying to look like i have at least an iota of confidence.

"Ready!" Ito-san presses play.

Doodoodoo doo doodoo, dunnnn...

"Aitai no ni, aitai no ni..." I trill out the lyrics, trying to ignore Ito-san who's still breathing a mere metre away from me. Is she studying ny face? Or how I look like when I sing? Maybe they don't accept girls who look like they're constipating during singing. I attempt to relax myself as I continue singing, letting my shoulders droop and moving my body slightly to the beat.

The song draws to a close, and I smile sheepishly at Ito-san. I think I did quite well actually, except for a few bits where I wobbled. Ito-san is nodding at me.

"That was good. You need to be careful about your rhythm, make sure you keep on track with the sound and don't go off." She steps to the side to breathe all over Yume next. "Takasu!"

Yume lets loose her vocal tigress as she belts out the song like she's known it all her life. I can see Ito-san's impressed (more than she was with me, anyway), though she takes a step back as though Yume is blasting fire all over her. Well with her voice as powerful as that, she may as well be.

As expected, Yume owns it on her first try. Pleased, Ito-san continues on to Umika.

Contrary to her sweet demure appearance, Umika's voice is surprisingly deep and rich with soul. It's husky and blended with emotions that makes you want to listen for hours. Even with her rhapsodic low vocals, she still manages to pull off the high notes with amazing delicacy.

Uwaaaa ~ I really have a habit of fawning over her, don't I? She's already like my idol, I have to get her autograph before I go home.

After Umika, it's Mayu's turn. As expected, she's naturally high-pitched and has a cute, bubbly voice typical of idols. She seems as uneasy as when I first saw her though. When she's not opening her mouth to sing, she's nibbling on her lip and rubbing her hands together. I guess she's feeling a bit nervous.

It finally comes down to Hitomi. I peer at her from the other end of the line, expecting her to be another vocal powerhouse. She looks like one, tossing her hair over her shoulder again and perching her hands on her sharp hips.

But to my surprise, she produces a series of whiny, stale sounds that immediately catches all our attention. I blink. Is that really her singing?

It seems to be. As she goes further into the song, Hitomi's cheeks are starting to colour. It could be due to embarrassment, or the fact that she's running out of breath before she even reaches the chorus. She isn't bad, but she's not fantastic either.

At the end of it, Hitomi's face us stained and her confident pose is sagging. There's silence at first, then Ito-san purses her lips. "We'll need to work on your voice, Fujiwara."

Ouch.

After that, Ito-san makes us sing the song together again. And again. And again. Then she breaks us up into groups (me, Yume & Mayu and Umika and Hitomi) to split up the lines between us. And after that, she plays the song on the piano and instructs us at the same time.

Two hours fly past. When we're finally dismissed, we're parched and desperate for water. We're all given water, and then half an hour of break.

[Hexoone]

wow. hitomi isnt a good singer huh. Cant wait until the dance training~

[enfo]

Sounds like the voices match the girls, you did a great job explaining their personalities in the earlier chapters, I look forward to these every day!
And aww thanks, best birthday gift ever

[Apple Cake]

Chapter 11: Let's become closer

During this time, Shinoda-san wants us all to interact with each other. We're brought to the gymnasium, and sit in a circle on the floor.

It's a bit uncomfortable at first, with everyone eyeing each other awkwardly. (except for Hitomi who's obviously gotten over the traumatic singing and is now stroking her hair like a pampered pet)

I decide to break the ice. "You were all amazing!" I offer my friendliest smile.

Umika smiles back. "Thank you," she says. "That was hard work though!"

"Totally!" Yume stretches her arms. "Is anyone sick of Aitai already?"

Trust Yume to be so straightforward. "What about you, Kimura?" I address the tiny girl who's curled up into a ball.

"Ma-mayu..." She mumbles, indicating it's fine to call her by her first name. "It was fine...I think."

She seems so shy, Yume and I automatically send out encouraging beams at the same time. Mayu finally giggles quietly at our simultaneous grins.

I turn my attention to Hitomi. When she sees my expectant look, she smiles thinly. "I loved it," she says simply, still running her fingers through her hair.

"Really?" Yume blurts out. I elbow her surreptitiously.

"It's just rusty warming up, I'll blow Ito-san's socks off in no time." Hitomi shrugs.

"We all will!" Umika laughs good-naturedly. "Let's introduce ourselves again, okay? Without any formalities. I'm Umika! I'm really glad to meet girls as talented as you all!" Her eyes are full of sincerity.

"No kidding!" Yume stands up and curtsies with a flourish before sitting down again. "I'm Yume! Let's not be bitter whatever the result, all right? We're rivals, but we should be friends too!"

I grin. "She's right! Please call me Mei, or you can call me Hana. I love Morning Musume and Takahashi Ai, don't you all?" I continue at lightspeed without waiting for a reply. I really want to be good friends with everyone! We all deserve to be in the group, so I hope we all get in!"

Everyone seems to like this idea, especially Mayu, who seems tickled at the thought.

Hitomi does the hair toss thing again. "I'm Hitomi. This is my dream and I'm going for it."

"Right on," Yume comments approvingly.

There's a second of silence, and we all turn to Mayu. She flinches slightly, as if we're all shooting lasers with our eyes in her direction.

"Please―please call me Mayu!" she says at last. She bites her lip. For a moment I think she'll just burrow back into the fetal position―but to my amazement she thrusts out her hand into the centre of our circle.

"Let's do our best!" She cries, her cheeks pink.

Without hesitating (Hitomi detaches her fingers from her hair first) the rest of us surge forwards and smack our hands down on top of each other's.

"GANBARIMASU!"

[Hexoone]

wow. interesting. now they are friends. lets see how it goes.

*camp*

[Apple Cake]

12. Dancing is our passion, our rivalry

It's time for the dance lesson. We change into sweatshirts and pants, and head back to the gymnasium.

Inside, the instructor is already waiting. As I walk in, I can see her stretching. She looks about thirty and is muscular and thin, with cropped blond hair.

The instructor turns around to face us. We quickly scuttle into line in front of her and bow, quickly introducing ourselves.

"I'm Yonatsu-san." She takes a good look at all of us. "I'm going to be in charge of helping you with the dance segment. Have any of you danced before?"

I cautiously raise my hand. When I look to my side, I see Hitomi's arm proudly stuck in the air, like a flag of honour. She sees my hand up too, the only other dancer in the room. Is it my imagination, or did a faintly sour look just cross her face?

"Whether you have dance background or not, that doesn't matter," Yonatsu-san continues. "What I expect to see from every one of you is the ability to work hard and stretch your efforts. Morning Musume doesn't pull off those performances without sheer will. You all already have talent―it's why you are here right now. Your attitude will set you apart from the rest!"

Everyone seems relieved at Yonatsu-san's words. She starts explaining to us how the dance portion of the auditon will go. We'll all have to learn a two minute dance routine that we will present to the audition coordinators at the end of the camp.

"The song you will be dancing to is Morning Musume's Go Girl ~Koi no Victory~. The dance has been entirely modified by me, so you will be learning new steps that I will teach."

I can feel bubbles of elation fizzing inside me. I love Go Girl ~Koi no Victory~! It's always such a fun and joyful song to sing and dance along to, it's one the best songs where I can fully show my emotions.

Yonatsu-san makes us all do a stretching routine, so that we're fully warmed up. I stretch my legs out into a split and lower my torso so that it connects to my front leg. Ahhh ~ It feels good to stretch. I can already feel my muscles softening into submission.

Suddenly, I feel a pair of eyes boring into me. I peer around and catch Hitomi staring again. She's twisted into a pretzel, tugging her leg to her chest. Her expression is cool, but her eyes are fierce and even more piercing. Just for a second I'm startled, and then I immediately compose myself and glaze my eyes over with a message that says bring it on. I give a wan smile, and then turn back to my stretching.

After stretching, Yonatsu-san walks over to the music player and plays the music. As she gets into position, the song starts and she dives into the dance. She's amazingly agile and a talented dancer, more so than I thought. Yume stares at her in frozen admiration and Mayu chews on her lip even harder, looking unnerved by the dance. When I glance at Hitomi though, she's staring coolly at Yonatsu-san. I can tell she's trying to learn the steps. I focus on the dance as well, trying to pick up the movements.

When she ends with a flourish, Yonatsu-san goes straight into teaching us the routine. First, she assembles us all into the opening position, showing us how to do it. I follow her instruction, standing with my feet slightly apart with my right arm stretched upwards, my head raised towards the ceiling and my eyes gazing upwards at my hand.

The routine blooms into a flower of steps, and Yonatsu brings us through every specific move. She has to do it slowly for us to keep up, especially Mayu, who looks petrified at the thought of messing up in front of Yonatsu-san.

Yume seems to be doing fine, easily recapturing the steps, although her face is taut with concentration and there's no sign of emotion. She imitates the moves quickly, frowning with the effort.

Next to her, Umika is struggling a bit. She pulls off the moves wonderfully, but she's mixing up the steps here and there, confusing the directions that Yonatsu-san is calling out.

When I look at Hitomi again, I can't help but be impressed. So far she's the best of the lot, flawlessly replicating the steps and doing it with gusto. Her face is suddenly radiant, and her movements are beaming with pride.

Well, I won't lose!

I rev up, and throw myself into the dance. Steeling my eyes on Yonatsu-san, I follow her every single second, making sure that I'm using every single tiny ounce of effort trying to produce the same movements ten times better.

As the time whiles away, it becomes clear that Hitomi and I are neck and neck, burning up the (gymnasium) floor. Even at opposite ends, we're the only two dancing in snappy sync, fiercely busting out our moves. At this point, everyone else has melted into the background―it's just me and Hitomi, competing, pushing, racing to the top. We're slicked in sweat, our faces tight with effort.

I don't know about Hitomi, but I'm really enjoying this.

At last the dance draws to the end, and we're frozen in the ending position, panting. The world finally trickles into view, and I'm aware of four pairs of eyes plastered onto us.

Yonatsu-san clears her throat. "That was fantastic," she says, sounding impressed. "The two of you are the fastest learners. Keep it up! I want to see this is in every one of you." She gestures at the rest.

"We'll end here for today. Before you leave, all of you will be given these." Yonatsu-san produces five tiny iPod shuffles from her bag. "Inside are tracks of the songs you're doing for the audition, both singing and dancing portions. You can use these to practise by yourself, then you'll return them at the end of the week."

I take the tiny iPod and earpieces. All right, I'll practise every second I can! The invisible competition between me and Hitomi has only fueled me even more, and I will go all the way to grab onto the title of the 9th generation member.

I won't lose.

[Hexoone]

oh my. a wild rival have appeared.

[enfo]

I can't think of anything else to say but, this is getting intense!, always keeps me on the edge of my seat, can't wait to see the next stage of the audition.

[Apple Cake]

thank you both!

Chapter 13: I want to show myself to the world!

I'm so engrossed in singing with the earpieces plugged into my ear blasting Aitai Lonely Christmas, I don't notice Yume returning to our room, fresh from her bath.

She dives onto the fluffy futon next to me, and I jerk back in surprise as I finally twig her presence.

"Stop trying to get ahead of me," she jokes, plucking one side from my ear.

"I've already progressed lightyears ahead of you," I quip. Then I stop. Will she take it seriously and think I'm being arrogant?

Thankfully, Yume just picks up her pillow and shoves it at me. "Sorry to disappoint, but I'm in an entirely different dimension from you," she laughs good-naturedly.

I giggle in relief, and then check my watch. "It's only 8pm, do you want to go to the studio to practise? Shinoda-san said we only have to be in our rooms by nine."

Yume shakes her head. "I've just had a nice bath, I don't want to get myself all filthy again."

"Well okay, I'll go by myself then." I get up to go and put on a sweatsuit.

I walk down the corridor, hoping I don't get lost as I peer at all the signs. Then I stop at the end of the hallway as I see a door that's lit up from inside. There's someone in the studio?

I quietly push the door open―and blink in surprise.

Inside the studio is Mayu, who's dancing with her earpieces on and panting. She's drenched in sweat, and her hair is falling apart from a sloppy bun.

"Mayu?"

She jumps, startled, and rips the earpieces out of her ear. "So-sorry, do you want to use the studio?" She stammers, all pink and flustered.

"No it's fine, the studio's more than big enough for two." I hold up my mini speakers, which I decided to bring at the last minute. "Let's practise together!"

It takes a while before I persuade her to stay, and then the two of us eventually start dancing together, going through the routine.

Mayu stumbles a lot of the time. I can tell when she forgets a step but doesn't dare to ask me outright, so I gently point the parts she missed.

"Look, it's this bit after the step-swivel-pose, watch me."
"Like...like this?"
"Yes, that's great!"

Gradually, she starts to come out of her shell a little, and begins asking me for help to improve her dance.

By the time we finish practising, she's laughing and joking with me, asking my opinion on her dance and making me laugh at the things she says. I've never seen her so lively and spirited. It's like she's another person.

I pinch my towel from the barre, and sling it around my neck. "It's almost 9, we should wash up now."

"Yes." Mayu agrees. She hesitates for a while. "Thank you for helping me tonight, Hanaki-san."

"Hey, I thought I said you can call me Mei," I wag my finger at her. "Or Hana, if that's what you like."

"Sorry, Mei-chan." Mayu giggles shyly.

I smile at her, and we walk out of the studio and start to pad along the hallway in silence. I want to say something to her, but I'm not sure if I should.

"Ne, Mayu..." I begin cautiously. "Is there a reason why you're so shy? I mean, you don't have to be scared of us."

For a moment, I think she's not going to open her mouth at all. Then Mayu's shoulders slump and her head dips.

"It's because...because...I don't have any friends at home. I'm always...being bullied." She says at last.

I swivel my head towards her in shock. "They bully you? But...why? You're really cute, and likeable!"

Mayu blushes. "Thanks, but I'm a real wallflower. When I moved to the neighbourhood and left all my old friends, I couldn't seem to make any new ones in my school. The girls mostly ignore me, but there're some boys who make fun of me."

Is that why she's been reduced to a tiny, timid character? I imagine little Mayu huddled in a corner by herself in class, her voice sealed within her, unable to come out. I recall how energetic and hilarious she had been in the studio―so that's the real her.

"This isn't...how you really want to be, right?" I venture. "You really just want to laugh and talk and play, and you're just as friendly as any of us. But you can't bring yourself to show them who you really are, because to them you're just the quiet newcomer."

She nods. I glance at her, and I blink in surprise when I see that her eyes are filled with tears.

"I've always wanted to show everyone that I'm more than just the quiet girl, I have interesting thoughts and funny jokes just like everyone else, but I just can't open up!" Her voice wobbles. "This character is already mine, and I can't show people otherwise..."

"...so you auditioned for Morning Musume to prove yourself to others." It suddenly dawns on me.

I stop in my tracks, and grip Mayu by her shoulders. Her eyes widen, and a tear trickles down her cheek, as if finally happy to be free from its cage of emotions.

"Don't lock yourself beneath this shell anymore," I say firmly. "You need to show them how amazing you really are, how fun you really are! Find your voice, let your spirit bloom! Just go crazy when you want to, tell all the jokes you want. People will realise this is the real Mayu that they've been deprived of, and those classmates of yours will be sorry when they see you shining on a stage above them. You will get into Morning Musume, and prove yourself to be a star!" I cry out this last wild promise. I badly want to boost her confidence.

Oops. But maybe I said it too strongly. Mayu looks shell-shocked at my sudden outburst, and I wonder whether even half my speech actually went into her ears.

Then out of the blue, she throws her arms around me. "Thank you," she says, sniffling. "Thank you for understanding me and being so kind. You're the first person I ever talked to about this, Mei-chan."

After the initial surprise, I hug her back. "I know you can do it," I promise. "Just be yourself. Be who you really are."

Mayu nods, and smiles the widest I've ever seen. It may be me, but right now it seems to be the most radiant, most joyful, most genuine smile.

"Let's go shower."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that."

[Hexoone]

nice. small mayu arc here.

[Apple Cake]

Chapter 14: This tension is heating up

Ever since that night, Mayu has become much more open and lively. She's totally comfortable around the others now, except I think she's still a bit scared of Hitomi. No surprise there.

It's already the last day of the audition. In the past few days, we've been having singing and dancing lessons, both group and individual. The first time I went to see Yonatsu-san by myself I was scared stiff because even Yume had seemed shaken when she left the gymnasium. Fortunately, Yonatsu-san just told me not to worry and I all needed to do was keep practising.

I wasn't so lucky when it came to singing though. Ito-san often stopped me several times in the middle of singing, and there was nothing more mortifying than being cut off. It took a lot of strength not to cry whenever I got lectured by Ito-san, and it left my face pinched.

I sigh, mulling over the last few days. It's been tiring and mentally and physically draining―yet at the same time, the hard work was always pumping along to the beat of exhilaration, pushing everyone to try their hardest.

Also, I guess being in front of the camera has given us some sort of motivation to want to work hard and look good on television. I've been talking to the camera everytime it comes to me, and the cameraman is nice enough to redo a take whenever I do something odd like sneeze into the lens, which I did yesterday morning because I was cold.

Anyway.

I've managed to establish a good relationship with all the other girls, especially Yume, who I've been close to since the very beginning.

The only person I'm not sure about is Hitomi. She's polite enough, but somehow I get the idea that she really wants me to break a leg or something so that I wouldn't be able to threaten her position as the best dancer.

We do talk from time to time, but otherwise she's been giving me cold looks everytime I see her. Especially during dance lesson, then it rises a notch and becomes icy. I know she's been practising like mad, especially her singing.

Her singing hasn't improved much though, and it still sounds forced and grates on everyone's ears, especially Ito-san, who'd then admonish her and single her out for correction. Still, Hitomi-san always holds her head up and refuses to look defeated. Instead, she acts like she has the best voice among us and refuses to take tips from friendly Yume, who is clearly the strongest in singing.

I've got to give that to her at least, the girl's got self esteem.

And it blows up even more when we get to dance lesson, because then she and I will start facing off again for the whole time, and Yonatsu-san has to dismiss us more than once.

It'll just get even more heated up during the actual dance audition, I think to myself. I reach the studio, and I'm about to reach for the door when it suddenly opens, and Hitomi bursts out. She's crying in short, raspy breaths, and wiping her eyes with her hand. She bumps into me and her tear-stained face registers me in horror.

"Watch where you're going, please!" she snaps, turning away so I can't see her crying. Too late.

"But..." Before I can say anything else, she's already taken off across the hallway.

I'm speechless for a moment. Hitomi...was crying? Strong, arroga―confident, good-looking Hitomi?

Oh, great. I hope Tsunku's not going to be inside to take me by surprise and tell me he doesn't want me in. Then I'll run out the door sobbing in blind misery just like Hitomi, and I'll call my mother and break down and figure out what bus to take home―

"Hanaki-san?" Ito-san calls from inside.

Oh, right. It's only Ito-san inside waiting for me.

"Onegaishimasu..." I walk in, clutching the lyrics sheet to my chest. I can't help but feel wary―I wonder what Ito-san did to make Hitomi cry. Granted, Hitomi isn't the best singer, but she's never cried before. Did Ito-san bring a whip for us today?

"Onegaishimasu." Ito-san smiles briefly. Hmm. She looks nice enough. Maybe it's because the cameras aren't around today and she doesn't have to act like the stuffy disciplinarian that strikes fear into the hearts of the finalists.

I want to ask about Hitomi, but that would be rude and childish. So I just carry on like normal, singing and nodding demurely when Ito-san corrects me.

After singing a few times, Ito-san lets me have a short water break.

"You've improved a lot, Hanaki-san." She looks up from her piano.

I pluck the water bottle from my lips and bow. "Thank you very much!" I suppress a pleased smile, feeling proud of myself.

"Some girls just don't have the right attitude to improve..." Ito-san carries on, sighing as she shuffles the piano scores rhythmically. "...they think they can do it all by themselves. They think they don't need to listen. They think they can talk back to a teacher..."

Wait. Is she talking about Hitomi? I look warily at Ito-san, who by now is talking at me rather than to me.

"Personally, I wouldn't go for a lippy girl like that one just now," Ito-san remarks somewhat mournfully. "Still, it's not my decision."

It has to be Hitomi. Hitomi was rude to Ito-san? Maybe that's why Ito-san laid onto her and crushed her usual smart veneer into tears.

I knew Hitomi wasn't the meekest maiden around, but I didn't think she was that kind of person to be rude to a teacher.

When my lesson is over, I leave the studio and I'm about to return to my room when I remember I left my earpieces in the gymnasium yesterday.

I scuffle back in the other direction to the gymnasium. I wonder if there's anyone there practising now.

When I reach the gymnasium, I hear a sharp, distinct voice wafting out from inside. It sounds like Hitomi. Is she talking to someone?

"...I hate her, oneechan!" I hear her saying. Oneechan? I peer in from behind the door, and realise she's using her mobile phone. Her iPod is lying carelessly at her side, and from here it looks a bit battered. I wonder if she threw a fit by herself and flung it to the floor in rage.

"She's a good dancer and she can sing!" Hitomi is hissing bitterly. "She's making me look bad. I know I can beat her. I'm supposed to be the best dancer."

I feel a twinge of indignance and roll my eyes, but I lean it to hear more.

"I'm always second at dance school! I'm tired of it!" she cries. "I didn't get into finals to be beaten by some irritating, noisy girl who thinks she can make friends with anyone! So what if she can dance well? I have to beat her and get into Morning Musume to show her! I have to be first this time!"

I'm getting quite angry at this point. I prepare to barge in and put up a fight―and that's when I realise Hitomi is standing with her back facing a shoe rack, oblivious to the small camera nestled in the corner.

[enfo]

First of all I want to say chapter 13 was my personal favourite, it left me smiling at the end.
I loved this last one though!, we finally get to see Hitomi's true colours, you almost feel sorry for her early in the chapter, almost, keep them coming

[Hexoone]

oh goodness. A PINHOLE CAMERA? LOL. good luck. its all going high tension. ~

[Apple Cake]

Chapter 15: The Audition Concludes!

Yume takes one look at my grim face and immediately asks what's wrong as we make our way to the gymnasium for a final check on our dance. I shake my head. I can't tell her the things Hitomi said about me earlier. It's humiliating and shocking and...just plain tattling.

I feel stings of hurt as I recall the nasty comments Hitomi made about me. I knew she was competing with me, but I didn't realise it was to that extent of hating me.

Am I noisy and irritating? I thought I was just being friendly all this while. Isn't that the point of being together in this audition?

"Yume-chan." I tug at her sleeve. "Am I noisy or irritating?"

Yume looks at me with surprised eyes. "No way! Who would say that?"

Uh, Hitomi.

"You're awesome to everyone, don't worry!" She beams. "Anyone who says that about you has to be a loser."

...right. Okay.

"I'm going to miss this place," I say lamely, just to change the subject.

But as the words swill around inside my mind, I feel a small pang. I really have grown fond of this place and these people. Right now, I just know I'm not going to leave with regret. Whatever the future is, whether I become a member of Morning Musume or not, nothing's going to change the fact that I had the most amazing and challenging experience this week.

"You think?" Yume grins. "It's been the best days of my life, having lessons under the best idol group, being in such a cool place...and making the best friends ever."

"You said it!" I crack a smile.

To our left, Umika and Mayu are chattering away happily, with Hitomi walking along with them
somewhat sullenly. She doesn't want to join in their conversation.

I press my lips together, feeling a fresh wave of hurt. Then I force myself to push all the negativity away.

"Pull up your socks, guys," I say cheerfully as we reach the gym doors. "After this we can't have Yonatsu-san watching over us like a hawk anymore."

"But what if I'm not wearing any socks?" Mayu quips. We all giggle―even Hitomi smiles―and enter the gymnasium, walking straight into a camera army.

Hiiragi-san the friendly cameraman and his team steer the camera towards us.

"How do you all feel about the last day of camp?"

Hitomi steps up. "Never been better. I'm raring to go."

Umika leans in and waves. "I'm happy that we all made it in, and we're all going to make it out together." She tilts her head and flashes a dazzling smile.

"I've become a lot more confident!" Mayu chirps. "And made amazing friends!" She makes peace signs with both hands.

The camera pans to me. My mouth suddenly dries up, and I'm at a loss of words. There's so many things I want to say, so many feelings I want to express. In the end, I just smile and settle for a genuine one-liner straight from my heart.

"It's been exciting since the very first day, and it still is!"

Mayu claps in agreement, bobbing about at my side. Yume shoves her face close to the camera.

"All I can say is...this last day marks the beginning of our road to STARDOM!"

All of us start laughing, even Hitomi, and shout "ganbatte!" simultaneously. Hiiragi-san flashes his usual thumbs up, and backs away.

We finally gather in front of Yonatsu-san.

"You've worked hard this week, all of you." She nods appraisingly. "Do your best, this audition is no joke. You'll be reviewed by Tsunku and other co-producers, so dance your hardest. Don't let me down!"

"HAI, YONATSU-SAN!" We shout in unison.

"Positions! Now!" She suddenly barks.

Huh? We all giggle as we quickly scramble into line into the opening position. The catchy tune of Go Girl springs out of the speakers, oozing pure pop.

"appare, appare, kiss shite gato..." I kick my foot, and swivel around to the back, ticking off the steps.

I don't need to count the steps anymore. The two minutes of dance has already been ingrained into my muscle memory. They dutifully carries themselves out, and I solely focus my effort on expressing the moves as vibrantly as I can.

I'm so engrossed in the dance I don't notice the group of people entering the gym. I don't notice the cameras rushing away from us to capture their arrival. I don't notice the squeals and murmurs coming from this mysterious group. It's only when the others around me slow down and stop that I become aware of my surroundings and grind my actions to a halt.

I look up, and give the loudest gasp I've produced in my life.

Walking towards us, faces lit up with excited expressions and smiles, are the members of Morning Musume, led by Takahashi Ai herself.

"What? What are they doing here?" Mayu squeals.

Umika clasps her hands together. "I don't believe it. It's them."

Hitomi is fanning herself rapidly. "It's Sayumi...!"

"EEEEEEEEH! NANI NANI NANI?!" Yume is screeching and laughing at the same time.

The Morning Musume members laugh at her reaction. "Konnichiwa!" They call out, waving to all of us and smiling.

My mouth is hanging open, and I clap my hand over it. I feel shock and happiness, a fizzy mixture, shooting up inside me. Then it explodes altogether, and laughter bubbles out of my lips. I can feel my face becoming hot, and my cheeks are starting to hurt as my smile widens.

Morning Musume! In the flesh! Takahashi Ai! IN THE FLESH! She's so much more beautiful in real life, and she looks so nice! Even at the concert at age 6, I was too far back to see her up close. I'm stunned by this sudden visit, and the fact that they're so close.

"Kon-konnichiwa!" I chorus along with the others, bowing.

We all stare, shocked and smiling. Takahashi Ai, Niigaki Risa, Michishige Sayumi, Kamei Eri, Tanaka Reina, Mitsui Aika, Junjun and Linlin! (in the flesh!)

"Everyone is fantastic," Ai says warmly. "Your dance is very good!"

"You're all so cute..." Sayumi murmurs, her hands on both cheeks.

Eh, really? We giggle uncertainly, not quite knowing what to say.

"Please keep it up!" Eri says encouragingly. "I'm glad that after Junjun, Linlin and I graduate, there'll be fresh and talented blood in Morning Musume."

Oh that's right, Kamei Eri and the pandas are graduating soon...I feel a tiny prick of sorrow as I remember they won't be in the group anymore. I always thought their fun, dynamic personalities helped to paint the group's colourful spirit. But...I'm glad at least I got to meet them in person before they left!

"Thank you...thank you very much!" I exclaim gratefully.

Mitsui Aika chuckles. "Uwaaah, I'm so happy to meet everyone!"

In a flash, Linlin is dashing around, patting us all one by one on the shoulder. "Ganbatte! Ganbatte! Wow, so cute! Ganbatte!"

The other members are all laughing, and behind us Yonatsu is smiling.

"It's a surprise," she says. "To give you all a little motivation."

"You know, we've been watching some of your lessons and moments at the camp!" Reina announces. "We're so impressed with everyone," Junjun marvels.

Suddenly, I notice Takahashi Ai smiling at me. I hold my breath as I start to blush. She's smiling at me! Takahashi Ai! I return a bashful smile, as she regards me warmly.

Then she addresses everyone. "We've all been through this before, and we understand it can be hard." We all nod. "But do your best at the audition! Morning Musume looks forward to the result!"

"Ganbatte!" Niigaki Risa punches her first in the air. "We only popped in for a short while, but hopefully the next time I see you―it'll be as a fellow Morning Musume member!"

"Hai!" The five of us follow. Waving goodbye at us, the Morning Musume members exit the gymnasium, leaving us all starstruck in their wake.

That was so cool! SO cool! I glance at Yume, and she's still covering her mouth with her hands, grinning.

But suddenly, Niigaki Risa's words leave a hollow impression in my mind.

"Hopefully the next time I see you..."

That's right. It's not a given that all of us will be in Morning Musume. It's not a given that the next time I see them, it'll be as a fellow Morning Musume member. Have I been taking things for granted, thinking that all of us would stay together and form the 9th generation? What if...what if I'm the one who doesn't make it? I think of watching the new Morning Musume with everyone performing at a concert, while I sit alone at home looking at them glumly on a television screen. It's such a wretched, forlorn feeling that I can't take it.

No! I have to be strong, and fight to the end. The only thing I can do is to do my best, and make sure that everyone sees my effort crystal clear. And I just know everyone will work hard too. I want to be in Morning Musume with everyone else!

I glance at Hitomi, who's dancing and tightly-lipped, her face suddenly more striking then ever.

Well, maybe just almost everyone else...

[Hexoone]

What a nice surprise~ Emotions portrayed extremely nicely and convicing~ Love it~

[Apple Cake]

Chapter 16: A Final Showdown

Ever since I left the camp for home, I've been feeling a lot more happy. I feel so blessed, so lucky to be in the finals, and to make so many great friends. I'm really full of joy!

We appeared in an episode of Bijou Gaku, the Hello! Project TV show, where they were running an audition special. It was so cool seeing myself on TV, I couldn't believe it. And they filmed me practising in my pajamas! All I can say it's a good thing I left my pink rabbit printed ones at home.

At home, I practise my singing and dancing for the day we have to return to do a final audition in front of Tsunku himself. I'm working hard, diligently studying all the notes and tips from the audition camp.

At the same time, I'm also studying for final exams. I'm going to be in high school next May, and I want to do well for my last series of exams in middle school, so that I'll be prepared for high school entrance exams. I want to go to Marunouchi Public High School, which is where all my friends want to go. Coincidentally, Hiroki wants to go there as well. Coincidentally.

"Mei-chan?" Mama calls me from downstairs. "It's time to go. You don't want to be late!"

I snap out of my thoughts, and automatically grab my jacket and bag. "I'm going now!"

Today's the day of the final audition. We're going to sing and dance in front of Tsunku and the other judges, and that will be the last thing we do before they make the decision.

I run downstairs, and shake off my home slippers, reaching for my boots.

"Be careful," Mama says, watching me from behind. "Are you sure you don't want me to send you?"

"No!" I say hurriedly. "There's a straight bus there. I'll be fine!"

The truth is, I want to be alone on the ride to the offices. I know I'll have a sudden spasm of nerves, so I want to calm myself down on the forty minute bus ride.

"Good luck, Mei-chan." Mama wraps her arms around me. "Papa will pick you up when you're done. We'll have grilled hormones tonight, do your best!"

I wave one last time, and walk out the door and into the crisp, cool December air. It's chilly, so I zip up my jacket. The faux fur on the collar tickles my neck, and I nestle my chin into it, trying to stay warm.

On the warm bus, I snuggle up in my seat at the window, and hum quietly under my breath. I take a gulp of the warm lemon water Mama put in my bottle, trying to coax my throat into a relaxed state.

Forty minutes later, I stop a few blocks away from the office building. As I walk closer towards it, I notice a familiar camera army.

Hiiragi-san (and company)!

He holds up a cardboard sign that says: "Please tell us how you feel about coming here today. (Bijo Gaku)"

I stride towards the camera and bow quickly. "Ohayou gozaimasu!"

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear so the wind doesn't send it flying in front of my face.

"I'm really excited and I'm really nervous. But I've come too far to slow down―from here on I'll be going at it even faster and doing my best."

I offer a big smile and get a thumbs up. Then I'm directed inside the building. Inside, Shinoda is waiting...with Hitomi.

"Ohayou gozaimasu." I bow. I glance at Hitomi, whose face is strangely rigid.

"Good morning." She says to me, smiling thinly, her eyes dull.

"Ah...good morning," I say cautiously.

"You're the first two to arrive," Shinoda-san explains. "The others have been instructed to come later to minimize waiting time. You two will take turns to record your song. Hanaki will go first, followed by Mei."

I gulp. I guess I'm first...I stroke my throat, hoping that it stays relaxed.

Half an hour later, Hitomi and I are sitting in a waiting room next to the recording studio. The awkward atmosphere between us is thick, and when mixed with my nervousness, I feel like I'm being strangled. I have to break the silence.

"Good luck later!" I force what I hope is an amiable smile. "You'll be great. I'm really nervous."

"Thank you. And...you too." She adds after a pause.

Is she being sincere? I can't bring myself to say anything else, so we lapse back into uncomfortable silence.

"Do you really want to join Morning Musume?" Hitomi suddenly says.

"Yes!" I say in surprise. "This is what I really want."

Hitomi doesn't reply for a moment. "I don't actually want to be here."

Wait...what? Did she just say what I think she said? Oh come on, my ears can't be spoiled just before singing...

"My mom's the one who wanted me to become an idol. Just because it's her own ruined dream," Hitomi says scornfully. "Performing arts school, dance classes everyday, home videos...she actually yelled at me once because my dance video only had twenty thousand views on the net."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Her mother is insane. No wonder Hitomi's like that.

Hitomi continues. "But if there's something about being under pressure to become an idol, it's being number one. I never back down. It's the only thing worth gaining from all this effort. If I become the top 9th generation member, my mom can't complain anymore. I won't be stopped by anyone. I know I'm better than the rest here. And that includes you." She looks directly into my eyes.

"Hanaki-san, please go to the studio." A staff member pops his head into the room.

"Hai." I stand up and walk towards the door. Before I leave, I turn around.

"I'm sorry, but you're wrong. This isn't a competition. We're not here to see who's better or worse, but to help each other build a path to our dreams."

Then I walk out of the door.

---

I place my hand on the cold steel handle and take a deep breath, erasing all thoughts of Hitomi out of my mind.

I open the door and walk inside, engulfed by the sweet, woody smell of the furniture and equipment inside. The studio is cluttered with sofas, tables and music equipment. In an area partitioned by glass is the actual recording bit, with huge mics and headphones, and those cool control things.

Sitting in a leather chair at a table, skimming a sheet of paper, is Tsunku.

"Good morning!" I try to sound confident.

Tsunku looks up. "Good morning! Hanaki Mei, am I right?"

"Yes! Thank you for letting me be here," I say fervently. "I'm very happy to be singing today."

"That's good." He chuckles. "I'm glad to see you here. How is your ankle?"

Um, it healed about two months ago.

"Fine, thank you very much!"

"Good, good." Tsunku nods. "Now Hanaki-san, today we're going to have you record Aitai Lonely Christmas. I believe you've practised that song. We'll do it just once, and I want you to do it with a smile and enthusiasm. All right? Imagine yourself as a Morning Musume member. Give off a sunny spirit!"

"All right!" An assistant brings me into the recording area, and fits a giant pair of headphones on my head, positioning me in front of the huge recording microphone.

I feel that fuzzy feeling whooshing all over my body again, and goosebumps crawling across my skin. This is so cool! I'm in an actual studio recording a song! And not just any studio. A Hello! Project studio!

I suddenly realise the studio assistant is signalling to me. "When you're ready," he mouths, holding his fingers up in the air. "And 3, 2, 1!"

The familiar music of Aitai Lonely Christmas kicks in, and I feel myself moving to beat like I always do. I'm aware of Tsunku staring at me from the other side of the glass. Instead of trying to ignore his presence, I embrace it. I fully grasp the motivation, the determination to show myself off. Tsunku will see how great I'm going to be.

I take a breath―and sing. I open up my throat, my voice flowing out, ebbing with a subtle power. This feeling of singing, singing to impress...it's amazing! I'm enjoying myself so much, I can't believe it it's over as the song fades to the end.

I press my lips together to keep from laughing out loud. That was...incredible! The sensation, the feeling of singing! It may not be technically phenomenal, but I did my best, and so far Tsunku hasn't gotten earplugs out.

At the assistant's prompting, I remove the headphones and walk out of the recording area.

"Arigatou gozaimasu!" I say brightly.

Tsunku looks at me interestedly. "How was it? Fun?"

"Yes, very! Thank you very much! It was a really great experience."

"Hmm." Tsunku thinks for a while, looking at his sheet of people. Then he looks up again. "So Hanaki-san, what do you think about the audition process so far?"

Is he interviewing me now? Eh...

"I've had the time of my life," I say truthfully. I've made truly great friends." I smile to myself, thinking of the other girls. The friendships we've forged in such a short period of time, the talented, beautiful people I'll never forget. "And this is what I really want to do. I want to become an idol, bringing people happiness. I want to shine on the stage under the bright lights. Performing makes me happy, and I want to show everyone that." I pause. "This is my dream, and I'm grateful,
so grateful I passed till this far."

Good grief, I shouldn't have made my speech so sentimental.

"Is that so?" Tsunku smiles. "What do you think would be good about being a member of Morning Musume?"

"Everything!" I answer cheerily. "I think it looks like a lot of fun. Photoshoots, recording singles, having concerts in front of huge audiences...the atmosphere is phenomenal! Even there's a lot of hard work required, I think it's all worth it in the end when the fans show their support. I want to be able to have that sort of feeling. And to stand on stage alongside Morning Musume, I can't imagine how happy I would be."

Tsunku asks me who is my favourite member, and I immediately answer.

"Takahashi Ai is my idol. She is the role model I look up to, there's so many wonderful things about her. I want to learn her from whether as a fan or an idol, I want to be as genuine and gracious as her."

I wonder if I'm saying too much, but Tsunku doesn't seem to mind. He stands up and shakes my hand.

"Thank you, Hanaki-san," he smiles. "I'll see you at the dance portion later."

"Thank you―ah, excuse me, but may I ask a question?" I press my lips together. "Why did Tsunku-san accept me to the finals, even though I didn't complete the last audition?"

There's a pause, and then Tsunku looks at me thoughtfully. "You're right. Why did I accept you?"

For one awful moment I think he's going to tell me he changed his mind and send me home.

"I saw something in you," he says at last. "A passion. A fighting spirit. A youthful existence. Qualities a Morning Musume member would have."

"Wow, how did you see so much?" I say dubiously, and then clap my hand to my mouth. "Ah, I'm very sorry!"

"No worries." Tsunku chuckles. "You have a never-say-die attitude. The way you carried yourself after your accident, that was admirable. I knew this is what you truly wanted. Also," he adds as an afterthought. "You are remarkably talented. Particularly in dancing. I saw your first audition."

Wow...well, that kind of makes sense! I feel proud yet self-conscious that Tsunku has been noticing me.

"Thank you very much, Tsunku-san!" I lower myself into a deep bow.

--

When I re-enter the waiting room, Yume, Mayu and Umika are sitting on the sofas inside. I gasp.

"Ehh! You're already here!"

"Good morning, Mei-chan!" Umika waves. "How was your singing?"

I nod. "It was...good, I guess!"

The staff member returns to the room to call for Hitomi. When I look at her, she's pale as a sheet and biting on her nails. For a moment, I feel a fleeting pang of sympathy when I remember her weak singing voice and gladiator mother.

Then something inside me clenches. All the things she said of me, her twisted mindset. If she doesn't change it now, there'll be nothing for her to show.

"Good luck," I call dryly as she walks out the door.

---

Everyone is done with their recording. All seems to be well! Mayu said she was a bit nervous, but she did manage to make Tsunku laugh with the things she said. That's great, huh?

As for Hitomi, she hasn't said anything about the recording. But she returned with a grim face and slightly puckered lips, so I'm guessing there was still some damage. Though now she isn't showing anything; she's replaced all signs of defeat with her usual smirk of confidence.

We're in the dressing room now, having our make up done. The five of us are wearing some sort of uniform for the 9th generation finalists―a light purple tanktop with white piping and black track pants. It's really cute! It's a good thing I gave the correct measurements back then in my application form, the whole outfit fits perfectly.

A twenty-something years old girl called Mikita is doing my make up, while a middle aged lady, Toriya-san, does my hair. Mikita is commenting on my baby-like skin while she coats my eyelashes with black mascara.

Meanwhile, Toriya-san is brandishing a sleek, pink hair iron.

"Are you sure that's safe?" I say warily. I've never been fond of hair products (I like to be as natural as possible), and this hair iron looks suspiciously damaging to my hair.

"You've never used a hair iron before?" Toriya-san says incredulously. "So how do you treat your hair and make it so soft and shiny?"

"Um...I wash it."

Toriya-san cackles with laughter, and flicks the switch on the hair iron. It starts humming ominously.

"Don't worry, it's perfectly fine as long as the heat isn't too strong. You'll have lovely curls in no time."

"Okay..." I say dubiously. Lovely curls? I don't want to dance in an afro.

Mikita finishes making up my face, and steps back to watch Toriya-san at work, as she starts dividing my long hair into sections. I try not to cringe as she wraps a section around the hot iron, curling it around.

"You're in good hands," Mikita assures me. "Toriya-san's one of the best hairstylists around here."

"Twenty years in the business, what can I say?" There's a tinge of pride in her voice.

I allow myself to relax. I'm in a professional's (slightly wrinkled) hands, after all. And not just any professional, but one who does idols' hair! I start to feel excited all over again.

Toriya-san tells me to close my eyes, and I obediently do so. I hear her shaking a can of hairspray and she starts spraying my hair liberally, so that my whole scalp starts to feel cold. She tweaks the strands of my hair, and then sprays them systematically. After a while she tells me to open my eyes.

I slowly open my eyes, and my reflection in the mirror comes into focus.

...wow. Just...wow.

It's not an afro after all.

My hair is gently twisted into soft, sweet waves, like a cascading river framing my face. It seems to shine even more with my cheekbones dusted in light glitter. My lips are glossed a demure, shiny pink, and my eyes are suddenly striking, even they're only outlined slightly with eyeliner.

The first thing that comes to my mind is that I look just like an idol.

"Thank―thank you," I splutter.

"Told you I knew what I was doing!" Toriya-san nods triumphantly. "You look gorgeous."

I carefully stroke my smooth, still-warm waves, winding a curl around my finger. It's light and springy, and feels like silk.

I look around the dressing room, where everyone else is finishing up too. I give a small gasp.

Yume's hair is bouncy and full of volume, with a plaited crown over her head. There's a gentle sprinkling of colourful glitter under her eyes, making her look even more full of life. She's smiling brightly, her youthful beauty sparkling like crystal glass.

Mayu is made up like a doll. She's so adorable, I want to squeal! Her hair is parted into two high ponytail on either side of her head, complete with small checkered ribbons. Her eyes are glittering and vibrant, and I know she can't wait to show herself off.

I turn my gaze again and widen my eyes. Umika! I can't describe how she looks...I'm stunned. She looks absolutely spectacular, especially radiant and beautiful. Her hair's elegantly twisted into a side braid, giving her a regal and gorgeous look of a lovely maiden.

Then there's Hitomi. Her eyes are lined thickly with eyeliner, and her hair's fashioned into a high genie ponytail, giving her a powerful and sassy appearance. I can sense the competitive and undaunted aura rising off her―she's ready for this.

The five of us are gathered outside the dance studio to wait. Inside, Tsunku and five other staff members are already waiting. I squeeze Mayu's hand, who's in front of me. She's shaking. To be honest, I'm feeling quite nervous.

The door opens, and the staff member directs us in.

SHOWTIME!

"Shitsureishimasu."

We file into line side by side in front of the long table. I'm in between Hitomi and Mayu.

Tsunku stands up and regards us all with interests. We introduce ourselves, and he introduces himself and his team. He starts to explain to us the final segment of the audition, and then starts us off on a small exercise.

"Imagine your friend is telling you a funny joke." He says. "I want you all to laugh as naturally as possible."

Laugh?

"3, 2, 1!"

"Ahahaha!" We all burst into laughter, some of us doubling over and clutching our stomach. It's so amusing to think that I'm fake laughing at first; eventually it starts to feel so silly I really do end up laughing for real. Yume doesn't seem to have a problem from the beginning―she just lets loose a loud sunny laugh and there she goes.

Tsunku stops us, and continues. "Good, good. Now pretend that your dog went missing...I want you all to feel sad and cry, cry for the sake of your lost little dog. 3, 2...1."

I think of a small puppy, separated from me, its owner, in a dark alley. It's alone, and frightened..at the same time I'm wondering anxiously where is it. I feel panic rising in my throat, and I start to cry. Not loud, gut-wrenching wails, but small quiet sobs to show a subtle anxiety.

Again, Tsunku stops us. I'm expecting to go on to the actual dance part now, but he says, "Now for the last one."

Hmm. Maybe he's going to make us fake an angry emotion? That's not very idol-like. Though Hitomi wouldn't be half bad at it.

"Imagine you're in Morning Musume. Imagine you're in performing with them right now at Budokan, in front of a huge audience. I want to see the emotion you have." Tsunku seems to be looking at me. "3, 2, 1!"

Budokan? That's...that's insanely huge. Alongside Morning Musume...suddenly I'm standing in the middle of a huge stage, a stage sparkling with bright lights...the audience is a sea of flashing glowsticks, cheering and waving...and I'm standing among Morning Musume, my arms high in the air, waving.

"Sugoi!" I find myself gasping. "Sugoi!" Then to my horror, tears are pricking the corner of my eyes. I hurriedly wipe them away.

At my side, Mayu's waving to an imaginary crowd. "Arigatou! Arigatou!" Umika is saying over and over again. I can hear sincere gratitude in her voice. Yume is jumping on her toes, obviously excited. As for Hitomi...let's just say it clearly doesn't strike a chord with her. She's smiling and trying to look happy, but it falls
flat in her eyes. I wonder if Gladiator Mom has something to do with this.

By now, Tsunku seems to be amused. "All right, thank you. Now you will all dance, just as you have practised." Everyone sucks in their breath. This is it! "Dance with expression and a smile. Enjoy it! Feel the passion in your dance! So in your positions please, and good luck." He motions to an assistant to start the music.

I deftly get into position, letting a smile grow on my face. This is it. The final of the finals. This is what I'm good at, and I-am-going-to-NAIL it!

The music starts, and everyone blooms into formation, transitioning smoothly into the steps. Everything starts to blur out, and I'm only focusing on Tsunku watching me and the dance. There's nothing to stop me; I'm going all out, pumped by adrenaline and pure, cold-pressed determination. I'm having so much fun―this dance is filling me with joy right to the brim, it's flowing over...

I'm smiling so widely, it's getting more and more enjoyable. I'm keeping myself solid and fluid at the same time, like an unopened packet of sweet, strawberry milk flying around on a merry-go-round.

In what seems like a flash, the dance ends and I slip into the ending position, holding it there. I'm breathing hard and sweaty, but pride and adrenaline is ebbing in my veins. I did great. I really did!

"Thank you very much!" Tsuku smiles appreciatively. "Good job, everyone. You all did your best." After some time, he stands up with the rest. "The results of the audition will only be revealed at the end of the month. Till then, do relax and do your best!"

"Arigatou gozaimasu!" We all bow as they leave.

Hiiragi-san and the camera immediately comes towards us. It arrives in front of me first.

"Do you think you did well today?" He enquires.

I lick my lips and give a wide grin. "Yes!" I say. "I did my best...and I was awesome."

I was awesome.

[Hexoone]

WOW. i can TOTALLY visualise those scenes like in real life. Very nice!

[Apple Cake]

Chapter 17: Confession

They should be calling anytime now. It's been three weeks, and it's going to be Christmas soon. Nobihiko-san said the new members would be officially revealed to the public on January 2nd, the first day of the Hello! Project Winter 2011 Concert Tour.
We'll be told whether or not we are in before the end of the month.

"The suspense is killing me!" I groan, at the end of class. It's the last day of school before our winter break.

"At least you can relax now," Riku points out. "We don't have much to do during the break except study."

"That's relaxing?" Sachi says doubtfully.

"Yes, it is!" Riku retorts.

I shrug, zipping up my school bag. I sling it on my shoulder and flip my cell phone open again. Of course there's nothing.

Ami hugs me from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder. "Mei-chan, don't worry! They'll call. With good news."

I grin at her. "Don't jinx me."

Out of the blue, a paper airplane lands on my desk. Eh?

I look up and see Ryogi, one of Hiroki's friends, gesturing at me to open it.

I pick it up and unfold it, nudging my squealing friends away.

"Hanaki: Rooftop now."

"Eh!" I gasp, and immediately crush it without thinking. Who...sent this? I open it again to peek behind, but there's no name. The rooftop? I feel my heart pounding. I don't dare to think who it might be.

I quickly excuse myself before the girls can ask, and run out of the classroom. I scuttle up the stairs, around and around, until I reach the entrance to the balcony. I pant for a while, and then slowly push open the door.

The wind hits me in the face, but I don't even take out my scarf to put around my neck. I'm rooted to the ground, staring.

Hiroki.

He's leaning against the railing, his scarf wound around his neck. His short dark hair is ruffled from the wind and his cheeks are pink. He must have been waiting in the cold for a while, I realise. Suddenly I vaguely remember Hiroki disappearing from class immediately when the bell rang.

"Hanaki-san!" Hiroki sees me and his face lights up, as he comes towards me. My heart starts beating wildly.

"Hiroki-kun?"

"Um, that is..." Hiroki blushes. He looks down, biting his lip. I feel a tingling feeling spreading across my skin. "I wanted to talk to you, Hanaki-san!"

I feel my cheeks turning red too. "Oh...yes?"

It can't be. It can't be. I can't deny that a confession first came to mind. But what if it's not? I'll be so disappointed. He could just be...asking me for help with homework. Or what brand of eggs are good. (He did say my scrambled eggs looked nice yesterday) But on a cold windy afternoon on the rooftop?! I don't know what to think anymore! My heart's thumping so hard, I don't know what to do but to look down as well.

As if making a sudden decision, Hiroki grabs my hands. I give a small gasp and look up. His chocolate brown eyes are gazing intently at me, and it's such a gentle and warm look that I don't feel cold anymore. We're caught in a world of delicious warmth, cut off from our surroundings

"Hanaki-san...I want to tell you sonething, I've wanted to say this for a long time, so please just listen to me..."

My breath traps itself in my throat.

"I like you."

Like inside a snow globe, tiny, delicate snowflakes start falling, swirling in the wind and dancing, twirling in beautiful spirals around us. My heart swells and swells, until I can't take it anymore and a shiver ripples through my body.

Hiroki sees this is and looks slightly alarmed. He unwinds the scarf from his neck and gently wraps it around mine.

"I'm sorry, you must be cold." He looks a tad dismayed.

The words still won't form in my mouth, there's so much I want to say, but everything falls into a lumo at the bottom of my throat. I lift my hands slowly and touch the scarf. It's warm and wonderfully soft―I've never felt anything so lovely.

I finally find my voice, which almost flies away in the wind.

"I like you too."

And just like that, a beautiful sun seems to come out. Hiroki's face glows again, and happiness dances in his eyes.

"Hanaki-san likes me too?"

"Yes!" I'm blushing again. "I was hoping and hoping that Hiroki-kun..."

He slowly takes my hands in his again and my voice trails off.

"Hanaki-san's like the sunshine, always smiling and full of joy. It makes me feel like...like I want to be with you all the time."

I squeeze his hands and smile at him, my eyes crinkled and sparkling with joy. I'm bursting with happiness, I really am! I'm overjoyed, absolutely teeming with ecstasy. My heart is beating like angel wings, so much so it feels like I'm light as air; I can soar among the clouds.

And then something crashes into my bubbles of thoughts.

Morning Musume.

Hiroki sees my face, and he stops. "Is something wrong?" He says worriedly.

"Morning Musume!" I blurt out. "I...Hiroki-kun...if I get into Morning Musume..."

Hiroki's eyes flicker. "...you can't have a relationship," He finishes quietly.

Everything seems to be racing, dashing past me now, swarming in opposite directions, overwhelming me.

What do I do? A love that I've always wanted, it's in the palm on my hand now and I never want to let go. I don't want to.

Yet, Morning Musume is my dream. Being an idol is my dream. It's what gave me so much confidence, so much fulfillment. I've come so far, and I've learnt so much. The possibilities of becoming an idol now is so, so big. I'm on my way to the top of that shining stage, but now it feels like I can never come down from it.

"Hiroki-kun..." My voice is thick. So many contrasting feelings are fighting within me. There's nothing more I want than being in Morning Musume with Yume and Mayu and Umika. No. Not after I've come so far.

And yet...I gaze desperately at Hiroki. Such sincere, heartfelt eyes...I want to be with Hiroki too. I have to give him up for the sake of my idol dreams?

But...things have just begun between us.

No!

What if Hiroki just ends up like sand running through my fingers? Will this confession become nothing but a mere, fleeting memory? My single shot at love?

Maybe...just maybe I won't get in. And I can be with Hiroki, and live life as a normal girl with my friends and a boy I like.

But I can't abandon my dreams―the stage is glimmering so much, too bright with hopes and possibilities.

What do I want?

Without warning, my cell phone rings, a shrill jingle snapping the both of us out of our reverie. I fumble in my pocket for it and flip it open, clamping it to my ear as I breathe heavily.

"Hanaki-san, this is the staff at Upfront Agency. Congratulations...you have passed to enter Morning Musume."

And just like that, I fall through the clouds and plummet down the sky.

[Hexoone]

AH~ the confession scene is SO SWEET. was smiling to myself like a dork.

but gosh. Being an idol.. I wonder what will she do ><