86 replies to this topic

[sailormari]

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle – you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Coroners refer to dead people as ABC's: Already Been Chucked.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse-kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

[ｍｉｃｃｈｉｐｙｏｎ☆]

Lol.
That guy is totally scary.

[sailormari]

^
dont let him hear you say that

he can kill you with a round kick even if he isnt in the same country you are in

the air pressure it makes travel around the world and hit you

[Xeqcme]

Chuck Norris won an award today.

Kanye West sat politely in his seat.

[sailormari]

^
LOL that best joke i heard today

[blueconnect]

have u heard of yo mama jokes of chuck norris?
yo mama so fat, chuck norris make her thin.

[RyuKarubi]

Chuck Norris doesn't need plane tickets, Chuck Norris stand on Airplane's wing!

 

Chuck Norris have a fist behind his beard.