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砂をかむように・・・NAMIDA 作詞：森村メラ 作曲：Joey Carbone&Kyoko Nitta 編曲：たいせい＆小西貴雄 ストリングス編曲：服部隆之
Song Credits
As mentioned in my opening post, 森村さん was tricked into writing this song. "How can you be tricked into writing a song?" I hear you ask... Well, the story goes that つんく♂ commissioned him to write a couple of songs but did not tell him that they would be sung by Aya until after he'd finished! His reaction to being told was apparently a bit of disagreement and he claimed that they weren't "Ayaya songs". Marvellous how things turned out though because both this and the coupling are brilliant. Did I mention his name is great? I know I did (in the introduction post) but just say 「もりむらめら」 yourself and hopefully you'll stop thinking I'm a complete basket case!
Joey Carbone is probably a bit of an obscure name but he's a bit of a Japanese legend. He's a composer and a producer. Firstly, as a composer he, like all the big names, has worked on songs for KAT-TUN, SMAP, 嵐, タッキー&翼 and Van Tomoko to name a few. His website has a picture of him with Puffy but they're not on his list. As a producer his acclaim shoots up because he has been responsible for a lot of oveaseas artists in Japan including, well just take a look at his list! Inexplicably, Elton John and The Righteous Brothers are in the second half of the list but the big names speak for themselves. And yes, that would Edward "John Connor" Furlong of 「Terminator 2」 fame second in the list for those who are as oblivious to his music career as I was! I only managed to find a tiny bit of information on Kyoko Nitta and that was how her name is written in Japanese: 新田恭子. I had given up the search after that but then had a thought that she may have been a student at one of the Schools of Music that Joey Carbone is affiliated with and went on to have a look at those. More on her in the Other section below because it's about the songwriting process rather than her alone. The rest of the credits first... たいせい, or たいせー as he used to be known, should be familiar to anyone in the know about Hello! Project. He's the シャ乱Q keyboardist who occasionally plays during 「歌ドキ！POP CLASSICS」 and some other Hello! Project stuff and of course, discovered the girls that becme ココナツ娘。. He's often seen sporting a beret nowadays but that's incidental. 小西さん has worked as an arranger for a variety of acts including the brilliant ゴスペラーズ and the ever-present SMAP. 服部さん isn't usually listed under the main credits but I think credit where it's due because the strings are a big part of the song. His arrangements are mainly for audio-visual formats rather than chart music.
Title
『砂を噛むように』 literally means "like chewing sand". There's not really an easy way to say in a word what this Japanese idiom means but if you imagine chewing sand, well, it's coarse, unpleasant and if it gets stuck in your molars it will be the most irritating thing you've ever had the displeasure to know. It's nothing to do with the taste though, just the sensation. Basically, things that are described with 『砂をかむように』 are things that have grown irksome and tiresome. The meaning of the title is that the narrator has grown weary of crying over relationships and this is the story of what she is doing about it. Having explained it, I feel I can just translate it as "like chewing sand" without too many concerns and you can make the mental connection like a Japanese person yourselves. How does it feel to feel Japanese? Not you, もりんご!
Of course, the other thing to catch people's attention is 『NAMIDA』. Why romaji...? Just for effect really.
Opening Thoughts
None really, except that 『砂を噛むように・・・』 element. It's just a case of finding out what it is.
Other
Back to 新田さん and she was indeed a student in an institution affiliated with Carbone氏. The School of Music at 東放学園 (Toho Academy) to be precise. If I've got this right, there was an internal audition in July 2005 held by Carbone氏 and out of that came a second year (sophomore) student from the pro-vocalist department... 新田さん. They spent the last part of July completing the song with 新田さん playing the piano and singing the melody while Carbone氏 tweaked the composition. The reason I wanted this to be separate is because of the date: July 2005. That was 5 months after 「ずっと好きでいいですか」 was released, 2 months before 「気がつけば あなた」 (although it had a bit of a run in the 午後の紅茶 CMs before being released) and just over 6 months before it was released. I don't know whether that's the regular time frame for a song to be made but I suspect it's not. I guess it's possible that 「気がつけば あなた」 really only was intended for the 午後の紅茶 CM rather than a single release but the demand from the fans probably led to 「砂をかむように・・・NAMIDA」 being pushed back to cater for it. Whatever the circumstances, 森村さん obviously wasn't very up to date on Aya because when つんく♂ told him who his client was, the four previous singles (I'm working on the reasonable assumption that the lyrics were penned before the music) stretching back a year were all ballads! They were four extremely different ballads but ballads nonetheless. Not an "Ayaya" song? You betcha!
Lastly, this was the very first Aya single after I became a fan but there have only been two!
There have been more GAM singles in one year than Aya singles in two! I think I may have become a fan just before 「ハロ☆プロ パーティ～！2005 ～松浦亜弥キャプテン公演～」 I didn't buy it when it was released though. I bought the single V nine months later in Hong Kong though. Slightly out of the way to get a DVD but I'd already started my collection when I saw it in a shop and I really wanted it! 
Oh, lastly lastly because I only thought of doing this after, ignore the stars and arrows on the lyrics for now. Those will be explained in the final section.
砂をかむように・・・NAMIDA
Like Chewing Sand... Tears
★←★
☆雨が 明日に向かって 急ぐ足 ★ひきとめる★
As the rain heads into tomorrow I steady my restless feet
★忘れ物なら 忘れたままと置いてきたのに
Though some things are best left forgotten
空が流すなみだが 時計の針と日付を
あなたと出会い過ごした日々に 心だけ還した↓
The tears shed by the sky have turned back the hands of time in my mind to the days I spent with you
☆約束ならまだ覚えてる 去り行くモノは何故 いつも愛しい
I still remember our promise
Why are departing moments always held in heart?
早すぎた恋でした ★傷つけあって↓ばっかりで
It was too fleeting a love. With nothing but pain
☆涙は雨の様に 激しく止まない
My tears won't stop pouring like the rain
あの★日が手の平★から遠く★離れ 気付きました★
I realised that those days had slipped from the palm of my hand
★現在を尋ねないでよ↓ ☆ほかの誰かのことも
Don't ask about the present. Have you gotten to know somebody else?
→↓知っている↓でしょ？ 嘘を☆つくのはあまり上手じゃない★
I'm not very good at lying...
↓話しの合う←人はいるけど
I do have someone I can open up to but
胸を動かすような気持ちになれない
He just doesn't set my heart racing
★早すぎた恋でした ↓確かめられないものが
It was too fleeting a love. There are uncertainties (in life)
☆あるから不思議なの 今は★愛おしい
So this wonderous present is precious
記憶の中を↓↓調べ ☆なくしたのは 貴方でした
I searched my memories and what I had lost was you
鮮やかだった ★記憶の色は 時の経過と 共に 淡く
The vivid colours of my memories fade with the passage of time
★大好きな★恋でした ↓大好きな人★でした
That was my dearest love. You were my dearest.
だけど↑砂を噛むように ★目覚めのベルがなる★
But the alarm bells ring like chewing sand.
★戻らなくちゃ ↓わたしは今☆を歩いてるの
I've gotta go. I'm walking through the present
あなたのこと★胸に★抱き 笑いながら
I'll hold you in my heart while I smile
Lyrics and Translation
Being the an oldish song, about 21 months now, this had already been translated by somebody else. That didn't stop me doing it as well because this is my take on it which, although not wildly different, I personally think takes the whole flow of the song into account more. But I'm bound to say that because it's mine!
Anyway, my main focus was of course the 『砂をかむように』 aspect, otherwise the song may have easily simply been called 「NAMIDA」. The questions raised by the title are "Why?" and "What now?" and with that in mind I found that the song splits neatly into three parts.
The girl is clearly upset about the end of a relationship at the start of the song. Even so, from the very beginning we know she's intent on getting over her love because she knows the past is the past. However, her heart is still tied to her ex and she's reminded of him by seemingly the most innocuous thing: rain. But perhaps she met him in the rain? You can see in my translation how the whole of the first part runs together from the first word until the end of the first chorus. The days that slipped from her hand at the end of the chorus are the same days that the rain reminds her of. She lost her grasp of them and now they are only memories that she wants to forget because they hurt. Oh, that rhyme in the English translation... it's such a clichéd rhyme (as with talk/walk) that it sounds better not rhyming like in Japanese.
The second part starts with the second verse and shows how she's trying to move on. She's either meeting with her ex-boyfriend, talking to him on the phone or a third scenario where she's dreaming (explained in the next paragraph) although I'd prefer to have them face-to-face so it's even harder for her to lie. While talking she's secretly begging him not to ask about how life is going now but he does and asks if she has a new boyfriend (not in so many words). However, she's not in love with her new guy. He's sensitive and a generally nice guy but she just doesn't have the spark with him like she did her ex. That's how bad she is at lying... she just tells the complete open truth! In the chorus I think the idea is to use the present to get over the past. It's a sort of "live for today because you never know what will happen tomorrow" piece with an added "and because you can't change what has already happened" flavour. In the final line, 『なくした』 can either mean "to have lost something" or "to have gotten rid of something". I haven't really settled on one over the other but taking the context of the song into mind I'm slightly more in favour of the second of the two. To get rid of something is perhaps a bit of a brutal explanation for this but it's not meant to be. I'll come back to that at the end because of the final line of the song. Regardless at this point, the result is that her ex is no longer part of her memories.
Onto the third part which goes from the middle eight until the end. At the beginning of the song she acknowledged that some things were best left forgotten and fading memories should be left to fade which is what is happens in the middle eight. Then onto the final chorus and there's a marked change. The love is no longer something that went too fast. Instead of mourning over something she has lost, she's celebrating something she had. It was her best, but will no longer be. The alarm bells... I have two interpretations for those and I like them both. The first is that the bells are literal and that she's saying her goodbyes before she wakes up meaning the whole thing was a dream, not in your convenient plot item way but rather using dreams for a purpose which is sort of strange because we can't control our subconscious thoughts. But I like that interpretation because I like dreams and the idea that it's a place where we can do things that we can't do in reality. But that's not to say dreams can't affect reality. The strength she's gained from it enables her to move on from there. However, the other interpretation is the one of true strength and the conversation she has with him in the second verse/bridge is real. The alarm bells takes on an idiomatic meaning similar to English. We knew from the start that she wanted to move on and now the bells are telling her to wake up and smell the coffee. From that she'll pick herself up and get on with life. They have been ringing for so long that they've become like chewing sand. That's the interpretation I prefer because it's not easy to do it, especially after being in the pits. I'm a sucker for emotional strength it seems! This split continues in the next line. The word 『戻る』 can mean returning anywhere, not necessarily home and not necessarily physical. It's possible that she's getting up to leave and says "I gotta go (back to the real world)" which is line with the first alarm bells interpretation but I prefer to that think she tells him that she has to go back to where she was in her life because she's walking through the present and not the past of her memories. I mentioned 『なくした』 having two meanings for the second part. Remember what I said in 「今はレットイットビー」 about 『心』 meaning "mind" when it's used emotionally? Taking that into consideration, her memories keep returning to her head at the beginning while at the end she has either managed to push them down to her chest where she can embrace it with her arms or, keeping the duality of interpretations, they may have drifted there over time. Having passed from her memories, the ex is now part of her heart in the English sense. The times she spent with him are part of her now and she is no longer held back. Whether they've been removed or have naturally shifted is I guess up to you depending on whether you prefer "「Automatic/Time Will Tell」" stories or "「Movin' on without you」" ones. Unfortunately, most people who read this will never appreciate how brilliant that 宇多田ヒカル singles sentence was, especially as they were her first two!
That's the story of how the girl invented by 森村さん got over her ex.
Musical Style
There's a reason why I really loved this song when it came out. It's the same reason why I love 「ダブル レインボウ」: I'm a sucker for piano. I failed to mention a fantastic rearrangement from 「Best 1」 last time: 「可能性の道 (2005 Version)」. That was a big mistake because that's one of my favourite "do your best" kind of songs. Okay, I didn't love the song just because it was piano but musical style really contributed to it. The sound is classically balladic which is perfect for the song. There's not really much more to say about it because it just follows the rulebook of ballad composition which, once again for things that might sound negative, isn't meant in a bad way. However, the strings are much more prominent in this song than any other where they've been used. It fits with the image of the song (and the PV), a sort of mellowness. Off the top of my head I can't name any ballads that don't "perk up" in terms of lyrics by the end so having this continually mellow music isn't going to make people start reaching for the Prozac or anything. It shouldn't anyway. If it does then a little counselling may be the order of the day.
Keep that one in mind...
Thoughts and Conclusion
A lot of people dismiss this (and most other ballads) as a boring song but I think it's far from that. It's such a great story of strength and it's a real pick-me-up kind of song, not in the way that you'd listen to 「ね～え？」 and feel like doing the dance... *cough* I mean it in a more humanistic sort of way... when you're really down you might not feel like listening to 「ね～え？」. I've occasionally not been in the mood to listen to it but this song, along with 「風信子(ヒヤシンス)」 has helped pick me back up (despite the latter not being a song about getting over things). Not to the point of wanting to listen to 「ね～え？」 though! That takes a bit more time. I suspect if there's a next time 「笑顔」 will help as well but I don't foresee that being necessary. Plus that song is about being further down than I've ever been. A lot further!
PVs... Okay, this is where I explain all the pretty stars and arrows in the lines. I mentioned I bought the single V but obviously I watched the PV early last year when the song was originally released. Don't watch the normal version, watch the close-up version. Actually watch them both but especially the close-up version because, whether it was the director's doing or not, throughout the song Aya fits the mood exactly with her actions and facial expressions. There's the optimism throughout but then when there's a sad line her face just shoots down to solemnity with the most amazing fluidity. A 21% majority of the 1484 votes in the Hello! Online poll a few months ago voted Aya as the best actress in Hello! Project. I think that's true even though she does tend of "overact" every now and again. But her facial expressions are fantastic so watch the PV and just see the progression of the song in her eyes. The stars and arrows then... the ★ are when she smiles; the ★ are when has a sad expression; the ★ are sort of indifferent expressions somewhere between ★ and ★; the arrows are notable directions her head moves in and the ☆ is a return to a natural head position (the last two in relevant colours). At one point at the end of the second chorus where her head drops down and picks it back up again (where I've marked ↓↓, her eyes have the saddest expression ever. That's the part where the split interpretation starts. Taking the interpretation that I favour, her pushing her memories from her head herself doesn't stop it being incredibly sad which is why Aya looks like she's really going to cry (incidentally, the expression also works for the other interpretation so that's up to you to choose). PVs... beautiful things, even if they look like they've been strung together on the cheap!
I do feel it sticks out a bit on the album but that's only because it's so familiar to me compared to rest of the songs. I've loved listening to it for so long so it's part of what I've come to associate Aya with. In time that'll probably fade as I'm getting quite familiar with the rest of the album, as you might imagine having done this!
Romaji (aka Linguistic Kryptonite)
Ame ga Asu ni mukatte Isogu ashi Hikitomeru
Wasuremono nara Wasureta mama to oitekita no ni
Sora ga nagasu namida ga Tokei no hari to hizuke wo
Anata to deai sugoshita hibi ni Kokoro dake kaeshita
Yakusoku nara mad oboeteru Sariyuku mono wa naze Itsu mo itoshii
Hayasugita koi deshita Kizutuke atte bakkari de
Namida wa ame no you ni Hageshiku tomaranai
Ano hi ga te no hira kara tooku hanare Kizukimashita
Ima wo tazunenaide yo Hoka no dare ka no koto mo
Shitteiru desho Uso wo tsuku no wa amari jouzu ja nai
Hanashi no au hito wa iru kedo
Mune wo ugokasu you na kimochi ni narenai
Hayasugita koi deshita Tashikamerarenai mono ga
Aru kara fushigi na no ima wa itooshii
Kioku no naka wo shirabe Nakushita no wa Anata deshita
Azayaka datta Kioku no iro wa Toki no keika to Tomo ni Awaku
Daisuki na koi deshita Daisuki na hito deshita
Da kedo suna wo kamu you ni Mezame no beru ga naru
Modoranakucha Watashi wa ima wo aruiteru no
Anata no koto mune ni itaki Warainagara
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Song Credits
As mentioned in my opening post, 森村さん was tricked into writing this song. "How can you be tricked into writing a song?" I hear you ask... Well, the story goes that つんく♂ commissioned him to write a couple of songs but did not tell him that they would be sung by Aya until after he'd finished! His reaction to being told was apparently a bit of disagreement and he claimed that they weren't "Ayaya songs". Marvellous how things turned out though because both this and the coupling are brilliant. Did I mention his name is great? I know I did (in the introduction post) but just say 「もりむらめら」 yourself and hopefully you'll stop thinking I'm a complete basket case!
Joey Carbone is probably a bit of an obscure name but he's a bit of a Japanese legend. He's a composer and a producer. Firstly, as a composer he, like all the big names, has worked on songs for KAT-TUN, SMAP, 嵐, タッキー&翼 and Van Tomoko to name a few. His website has a picture of him with Puffy but they're not on his list. As a producer his acclaim shoots up because he has been responsible for a lot of oveaseas artists in Japan including, well just take a look at his list! Inexplicably, Elton John and The Righteous Brothers are in the second half of the list but the big names speak for themselves. And yes, that would Edward "John Connor" Furlong of 「Terminator 2」 fame second in the list for those who are as oblivious to his music career as I was! I only managed to find a tiny bit of information on Kyoko Nitta and that was how her name is written in Japanese: 新田恭子. I had given up the search after that but then had a thought that she may have been a student at one of the Schools of Music that Joey Carbone is affiliated with and went on to have a look at those. More on her in the Other section below because it's about the songwriting process rather than her alone. The rest of the credits first... たいせい, or たいせー as he used to be known, should be familiar to anyone in the know about Hello! Project. He's the シャ乱Q keyboardist who occasionally plays during 「歌ドキ！POP CLASSICS」 and some other Hello! Project stuff and of course, discovered the girls that becme ココナツ娘。. He's often seen sporting a beret nowadays but that's incidental. 小西さん has worked as an arranger for a variety of acts including the brilliant ゴスペラーズ and the ever-present SMAP. 服部さん isn't usually listed under the main credits but I think credit where it's due because the strings are a big part of the song. His arrangements are mainly for audio-visual formats rather than chart music.Title
『砂を噛むように』 literally means "like chewing sand". There's not really an easy way to say in a word what this Japanese idiom means but if you imagine chewing sand, well, it's coarse, unpleasant and if it gets stuck in your molars it will be the most irritating thing you've ever had the displeasure to know. It's nothing to do with the taste though, just the sensation. Basically, things that are described with 『砂をかむように』 are things that have grown irksome and tiresome. The meaning of the title is that the narrator has grown weary of crying over relationships and this is the story of what she is doing about it. Having explained it, I feel I can just translate it as "like chewing sand" without too many concerns and you can make the mental connection like a Japanese person yourselves. How does it feel to feel Japanese? Not you, もりんご!
Of course, the other thing to catch people's attention is 『NAMIDA』. Why romaji...? Just for effect really.
Opening Thoughts
None really, except that 『砂を噛むように・・・』 element. It's just a case of finding out what it is.
Other
Back to 新田さん and she was indeed a student in an institution affiliated with Carbone氏. The School of Music at 東放学園 (Toho Academy) to be precise. If I've got this right, there was an internal audition in July 2005 held by Carbone氏 and out of that came a second year (sophomore) student from the pro-vocalist department... 新田さん. They spent the last part of July completing the song with 新田さん playing the piano and singing the melody while Carbone氏 tweaked the composition. The reason I wanted this to be separate is because of the date: July 2005. That was 5 months after 「ずっと好きでいいですか」 was released, 2 months before 「気がつけば あなた」 (although it had a bit of a run in the 午後の紅茶 CMs before being released) and just over 6 months before it was released. I don't know whether that's the regular time frame for a song to be made but I suspect it's not. I guess it's possible that 「気がつけば あなた」 really only was intended for the 午後の紅茶 CM rather than a single release but the demand from the fans probably led to 「砂をかむように・・・NAMIDA」 being pushed back to cater for it. Whatever the circumstances, 森村さん obviously wasn't very up to date on Aya because when つんく♂ told him who his client was, the four previous singles (I'm working on the reasonable assumption that the lyrics were penned before the music) stretching back a year were all ballads! They were four extremely different ballads but ballads nonetheless. Not an "Ayaya" song? You betcha!
Lastly, this was the very first Aya single after I became a fan but there have only been two!
There have been more GAM singles in one year than Aya singles in two! I think I may have become a fan just before 「ハロ☆プロ パーティ～！2005 ～松浦亜弥キャプテン公演～」 I didn't buy it when it was released though. I bought the single V nine months later in Hong Kong though. Slightly out of the way to get a DVD but I'd already started my collection when I saw it in a shop and I really wanted it! Oh, lastly lastly because I only thought of doing this after, ignore the stars and arrows on the lyrics for now. Those will be explained in the final section.
砂をかむように・・・NAMIDA
Like Chewing Sand... Tears
★←★
☆雨が 明日に向かって 急ぐ足 ★ひきとめる★
As the rain heads into tomorrow I steady my restless feet
★忘れ物なら 忘れたままと置いてきたのに
Though some things are best left forgotten
空が流すなみだが 時計の針と日付を
あなたと出会い過ごした日々に 心だけ還した↓
The tears shed by the sky have turned back the hands of time in my mind to the days I spent with you
☆約束ならまだ覚えてる 去り行くモノは何故 いつも愛しい
I still remember our promise
Why are departing moments always held in heart?
早すぎた恋でした ★傷つけあって↓ばっかりで
It was too fleeting a love. With nothing but pain
☆涙は雨の様に 激しく止まない
My tears won't stop pouring like the rain
あの★日が手の平★から遠く★離れ 気付きました★
I realised that those days had slipped from the palm of my hand
★現在を尋ねないでよ↓ ☆ほかの誰かのことも
Don't ask about the present. Have you gotten to know somebody else?
→↓知っている↓でしょ？ 嘘を☆つくのはあまり上手じゃない★
I'm not very good at lying...
↓話しの合う←人はいるけど
I do have someone I can open up to but
胸を動かすような気持ちになれない
He just doesn't set my heart racing
★早すぎた恋でした ↓確かめられないものが
It was too fleeting a love. There are uncertainties (in life)
☆あるから不思議なの 今は★愛おしい
So this wonderous present is precious
記憶の中を↓↓調べ ☆なくしたのは 貴方でした
I searched my memories and what I had lost was you
鮮やかだった ★記憶の色は 時の経過と 共に 淡く
The vivid colours of my memories fade with the passage of time
★大好きな★恋でした ↓大好きな人★でした
That was my dearest love. You were my dearest.
だけど↑砂を噛むように ★目覚めのベルがなる★
But the alarm bells ring like chewing sand.
★戻らなくちゃ ↓わたしは今☆を歩いてるの
I've gotta go. I'm walking through the present
あなたのこと★胸に★抱き 笑いながら
I'll hold you in my heart while I smile
Lyrics and Translation
Being the an oldish song, about 21 months now, this had already been translated by somebody else. That didn't stop me doing it as well because this is my take on it which, although not wildly different, I personally think takes the whole flow of the song into account more. But I'm bound to say that because it's mine!
Anyway, my main focus was of course the 『砂をかむように』 aspect, otherwise the song may have easily simply been called 「NAMIDA」. The questions raised by the title are "Why?" and "What now?" and with that in mind I found that the song splits neatly into three parts.The girl is clearly upset about the end of a relationship at the start of the song. Even so, from the very beginning we know she's intent on getting over her love because she knows the past is the past. However, her heart is still tied to her ex and she's reminded of him by seemingly the most innocuous thing: rain. But perhaps she met him in the rain? You can see in my translation how the whole of the first part runs together from the first word until the end of the first chorus. The days that slipped from her hand at the end of the chorus are the same days that the rain reminds her of. She lost her grasp of them and now they are only memories that she wants to forget because they hurt. Oh, that rhyme in the English translation... it's such a clichéd rhyme (as with talk/walk) that it sounds better not rhyming like in Japanese.
The second part starts with the second verse and shows how she's trying to move on. She's either meeting with her ex-boyfriend, talking to him on the phone or a third scenario where she's dreaming (explained in the next paragraph) although I'd prefer to have them face-to-face so it's even harder for her to lie. While talking she's secretly begging him not to ask about how life is going now but he does and asks if she has a new boyfriend (not in so many words). However, she's not in love with her new guy. He's sensitive and a generally nice guy but she just doesn't have the spark with him like she did her ex. That's how bad she is at lying... she just tells the complete open truth! In the chorus I think the idea is to use the present to get over the past. It's a sort of "live for today because you never know what will happen tomorrow" piece with an added "and because you can't change what has already happened" flavour. In the final line, 『なくした』 can either mean "to have lost something" or "to have gotten rid of something". I haven't really settled on one over the other but taking the context of the song into mind I'm slightly more in favour of the second of the two. To get rid of something is perhaps a bit of a brutal explanation for this but it's not meant to be. I'll come back to that at the end because of the final line of the song. Regardless at this point, the result is that her ex is no longer part of her memories.
Onto the third part which goes from the middle eight until the end. At the beginning of the song she acknowledged that some things were best left forgotten and fading memories should be left to fade which is what is happens in the middle eight. Then onto the final chorus and there's a marked change. The love is no longer something that went too fast. Instead of mourning over something she has lost, she's celebrating something she had. It was her best, but will no longer be. The alarm bells... I have two interpretations for those and I like them both. The first is that the bells are literal and that she's saying her goodbyes before she wakes up meaning the whole thing was a dream, not in your convenient plot item way but rather using dreams for a purpose which is sort of strange because we can't control our subconscious thoughts. But I like that interpretation because I like dreams and the idea that it's a place where we can do things that we can't do in reality. But that's not to say dreams can't affect reality. The strength she's gained from it enables her to move on from there. However, the other interpretation is the one of true strength and the conversation she has with him in the second verse/bridge is real. The alarm bells takes on an idiomatic meaning similar to English. We knew from the start that she wanted to move on and now the bells are telling her to wake up and smell the coffee. From that she'll pick herself up and get on with life. They have been ringing for so long that they've become like chewing sand. That's the interpretation I prefer because it's not easy to do it, especially after being in the pits. I'm a sucker for emotional strength it seems! This split continues in the next line. The word 『戻る』 can mean returning anywhere, not necessarily home and not necessarily physical. It's possible that she's getting up to leave and says "I gotta go (back to the real world)" which is line with the first alarm bells interpretation but I prefer to that think she tells him that she has to go back to where she was in her life because she's walking through the present and not the past of her memories. I mentioned 『なくした』 having two meanings for the second part. Remember what I said in 「今はレットイットビー」 about 『心』 meaning "mind" when it's used emotionally? Taking that into consideration, her memories keep returning to her head at the beginning while at the end she has either managed to push them down to her chest where she can embrace it with her arms or, keeping the duality of interpretations, they may have drifted there over time. Having passed from her memories, the ex is now part of her heart in the English sense. The times she spent with him are part of her now and she is no longer held back. Whether they've been removed or have naturally shifted is I guess up to you depending on whether you prefer "「Automatic/Time Will Tell」" stories or "「Movin' on without you」" ones. Unfortunately, most people who read this will never appreciate how brilliant that 宇多田ヒカル singles sentence was, especially as they were her first two!
That's the story of how the girl invented by 森村さん got over her ex.
Musical Style
There's a reason why I really loved this song when it came out. It's the same reason why I love 「ダブル レインボウ」: I'm a sucker for piano. I failed to mention a fantastic rearrangement from 「Best 1」 last time: 「可能性の道 (2005 Version)」. That was a big mistake because that's one of my favourite "do your best" kind of songs. Okay, I didn't love the song just because it was piano but musical style really contributed to it. The sound is classically balladic which is perfect for the song. There's not really much more to say about it because it just follows the rulebook of ballad composition which, once again for things that might sound negative, isn't meant in a bad way. However, the strings are much more prominent in this song than any other where they've been used. It fits with the image of the song (and the PV), a sort of mellowness. Off the top of my head I can't name any ballads that don't "perk up" in terms of lyrics by the end so having this continually mellow music isn't going to make people start reaching for the Prozac or anything. It shouldn't anyway. If it does then a little counselling may be the order of the day.
Keep that one in mind...Thoughts and Conclusion
A lot of people dismiss this (and most other ballads) as a boring song but I think it's far from that. It's such a great story of strength and it's a real pick-me-up kind of song, not in the way that you'd listen to 「ね～え？」 and feel like doing the dance... *cough*
I mean it in a more humanistic sort of way... when you're really down you might not feel like listening to 「ね～え？」. I've occasionally not been in the mood to listen to it but this song, along with 「風信子(ヒヤシンス)」 has helped pick me back up (despite the latter not being a song about getting over things). Not to the point of wanting to listen to 「ね～え？」 though! That takes a bit more time. I suspect if there's a next time 「笑顔」 will help as well but I don't foresee that being necessary. Plus that song is about being further down than I've ever been. A lot further! PVs... Okay, this is where I explain all the pretty stars and arrows in the lines. I mentioned I bought the single V but obviously I watched the PV early last year when the song was originally released. Don't watch the normal version, watch the close-up version. Actually watch them both but especially the close-up version because, whether it was the director's doing or not, throughout the song Aya fits the mood exactly with her actions and facial expressions. There's the optimism throughout but then when there's a sad line her face just shoots down to solemnity with the most amazing fluidity. A 21% majority of the 1484 votes in the Hello! Online poll a few months ago voted Aya as the best actress in Hello! Project. I think that's true even though she does tend of "overact" every now and again. But her facial expressions are fantastic so watch the PV and just see the progression of the song in her eyes. The stars and arrows then... the ★ are when she smiles; the ★ are when has a sad expression; the ★ are sort of indifferent expressions somewhere between ★ and ★; the arrows are notable directions her head moves in and the ☆ is a return to a natural head position (the last two in relevant colours). At one point at the end of the second chorus where her head drops down and picks it back up again (where I've marked ↓↓, her eyes have the saddest expression ever. That's the part where the split interpretation starts. Taking the interpretation that I favour, her pushing her memories from her head herself doesn't stop it being incredibly sad which is why Aya looks like she's really going to cry (incidentally, the expression also works for the other interpretation so that's up to you to choose). PVs... beautiful things, even if they look like they've been strung together on the cheap!
I do feel it sticks out a bit on the album but that's only because it's so familiar to me compared to rest of the songs. I've loved listening to it for so long so it's part of what I've come to associate Aya with. In time that'll probably fade as I'm getting quite familiar with the rest of the album, as you might imagine having done this!
Romaji (aka Linguistic Kryptonite)
Ame ga Asu ni mukatte Isogu ashi Hikitomeru
Wasuremono nara Wasureta mama to oitekita no ni
Sora ga nagasu namida ga Tokei no hari to hizuke wo
Anata to deai sugoshita hibi ni Kokoro dake kaeshita
Yakusoku nara mad oboeteru Sariyuku mono wa naze Itsu mo itoshii
Hayasugita koi deshita Kizutuke atte bakkari de
Namida wa ame no you ni Hageshiku tomaranai
Ano hi ga te no hira kara tooku hanare Kizukimashita
Ima wo tazunenaide yo Hoka no dare ka no koto mo
Shitteiru desho Uso wo tsuku no wa amari jouzu ja nai
Hanashi no au hito wa iru kedo
Mune wo ugokasu you na kimochi ni narenai
Hayasugita koi deshita Tashikamerarenai mono ga
Aru kara fushigi na no ima wa itooshii
Kioku no naka wo shirabe Nakushita no wa Anata deshita
Azayaka datta Kioku no iro wa Toki no keika to Tomo ni Awaku
Daisuki na koi deshita Daisuki na hito deshita
Da kedo suna wo kamu you ni Mezame no beru ga naru
Modoranakucha Watashi wa ima wo aruiteru no
Anata no koto mune ni itaki Warainagara
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