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sailormari's Content

There have been 34 items by sailormari (Search limited from 25-September 09)



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  1. sailormariTheAnna18

    Made a comment, Nov 02 2011 01:22 PM

    new avatar is only temp since i won greatest fan award

  2. sailormari

    Made a comment, Jul 12 2011 07:57 PM

    vote for me as mari greatest fan

  3. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 29 2010 12:54 AM

    "Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling."

  4. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 28 2010 03:35 AM

    "Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing."

    • Tony Oguri's Photo
      Tony Oguri
      No matter how big it is, don't kill it. It might be a baby and it doesn't know any better. Try to catch it w/o harming it, and throw it outside.
  5. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 25 2010 11:40 AM

    "A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

  6. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 24 2010 11:38 PM

    "If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

  7. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 24 2010 03:06 PM

    "If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."

  8. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 24 2010 03:53 AM

    "If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine."

  9. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 23 2010 05:17 PM

    "If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."

    • sanrio's Photo
      sanrio
      infact, you might as well throw your car in too
  10. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 23 2010 08:04 AM

    "Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick."

  11. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 23 2010 03:43 AM

    "Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done."

  12. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 22 2010 08:27 AM

    "Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!"

    • H!Pisbest♥Airi♥Risako♥'s Photo
      H!Pisbest♥Airi♥Risako♥
      LOOOOOOOOOOOOL
  13. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 22 2010 03:41 AM

    "Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new name for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head." Normally you would think that "Fly Head" would mean a person who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly"? I'm afraid some people might actually think that."

  14. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 21 2010 03:59 AM

    "To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."

    • usagi_no_kami's Photo
      usagi_no_kami
      ^ Nah, I think Sailor is doing those old "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy... pretty funny, I missed them!!
    • kagaki's Photo
      kagaki
      oh okay I still don'tlike clowns though
    • sailormari's Photo
      sailormari
      bunny got it....but i like to think like jack handy
  15. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 20 2010 04:54 PM

    "To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?", you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

  16. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 20 2010 03:36 AM

    "One time I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."

  17. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 19 2010 05:14 PM

    "What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know."

  18. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 19 2010 07:57 AM

    "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them."

  19. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 18 2010 11:53 PM

    "If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness."

    • H!Pisbest♥Airi♥Risako♥'s Photo
      H!Pisbest♥Airi♥Risako♥
      "ok"
  20. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 18 2010 10:15 AM

    "If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone."

  21. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 18 2010 04:51 AM

    "To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other."

  22. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 17 2010 11:35 PM

    "If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite."

  23. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 17 2010 09:06 PM

    "I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun at me, let alone fire it. And you know what I'm doing while they're aiming it at me? I just sort of slip off to the side, and then suddenly run up and kick the gun out of their hands."

  24. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 17 2010 06:26 PM

    "I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away."

  25. sailormari

    Made a comment, Sep 17 2010 04:08 PM

    "For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness."