The end of an era

Today happened something I have been warned about: Milky announced graduation. Undoubtedly a sad thing, that will be a new experience for me: I will have to survive the whole graduation of one of my most loved idols. For the first time.

Yes, so far I was not in such a situation: since memorable 2010.12.27* not a girl I really cared about has graduated after a I had eyes on her for a longer time already. It looked like this: when I notice someone in a 48 group, she either leaves in two months... or does not leave. Ever. Until today. One could say that it was not that difficult with so few girls watched in 2012 or even 2013, but still. Why do I have graduates then popping up somewhere?

* Eto Sayaka: forced out without practically any warning. Just a void left to fill, no ceremony. Still itches.
* Tang Min: even weirder case - she just disappeared (after something like a month). I did not crack this case at all. At peace.
* Sasaki Nanami: usually "excess" girls go faster than I am able to notice them. She was in my sight for a bit longer: two or three months, quite long. I did not feel that much of a loss when she left, though: there were no LODs then, scarce videos, no participation in varieties, just a fresh KKS. It's not like I have forgotten about her, but recently, after I have found - by accident - Kodakari, few days later I came by a Sasaki (Yume); soon I have started to wonder, why I would think there is something important with 17yo graduate from idol group named Sasaki. Enlightenment didn't take long after I asked the right question: Google has shown me the way to Twitter account I had no idea it could really be here. I can say that, after these four years, that was amazing feeling: she is looking otherwordly on these few photos. So pretty that I don't know if I should be happy to see these bits of her, or sad because I can't see more of her. She is like the best dream in reality.
* Yamagishi Natsumi and Takano Yui: a plot twist - they both were noticed by me after they graduated. While I kept an eye on Natsumi for a long time before and was clearly aware of her graduation, the force with which it hit me was a total surprise. I've been missing her a lot, more and more - and cuts from 2013 year concerts really helped intensify this. It was not until I have rediscovered Yui, Yamamoto Hitomi and... Fuuko that I was given some peace. Natsumi is really great on her Twitter, I could have never guessed that I would be so happy to see her.

With Natsumi came something else: I started to really love NMB48 (concert cuts have helped a lot, again). Even if this is mostly related to years 2013 and 2014 (I don't really have newer stuff, even), I just want so much more - also from now.


While graduation is sad, indeed - I see it as a separation from other girls, not something that would stop me from following someone that is the most important, like Miyuki. As long as she will be out there, I can wish her best and be happy to see her, even a little bit. While new content will stop appearing in such amounts like before, in the case of someone like Milky old recordings still give me tens of hours of performances and hundreds of hours of varieties, talks, random videos... I know only a small fraction of. I can only wish I have appreciated her more in all these years, I just can't think I gave enough attention - even if she is "just" 2nd in NMB48, what gives even lower spot over all groups, she is quite important, especially as a support for Akari (they are well-balanced together, really helped to carry the group for me this way). Not to say that she is just great. It stings me a little bit, how nostalgic might be even these fun videos from old times, when viewed from the perspective of today after so many changes: leaving idol group, having another career, marrying, having kids... Yes, Yuuyuu's case has been like a loud warning shot near the head. So many good things are going to happen to girls in the years to come, that graduation should really feel like just leaving safe harbor into lone wild, not the storm itself.

I will remember. Milky, I will remember you.

Now let's have a farewell festival in these few more months (?) granted.

* Date estimated.