Vickle

So close to the edge of my seat, I nearly fell face first into my desk yo. Anticipating the next chapter much, but I wonder in whose PoV.

If you want to figure out a way to make your sentences less choppy, you should think of sentence structure and length. Try adding more description or thought into the sentence and smooth it out . Or, go into details in the paragraphs.

That's my two cents there, but of course, like TIN said, you're not writing for an assignment but if you feel like you want to improve...then yeah.