Not so much a bad day, but a bad week in general, since I haven't slept properly in about a fortnight due to insomnia.
But today (or should I say yesterday, since it's 3am) basically, after another long night of not being able to sleep, I am completely exhausted. I need to see my doctor to discuss my insomnia and my depression (I'm on sertraline, but I haven't been on them long enough for them to allow me a repeat prescription. I just have to come in when I'm almost out to discuss how I'm feeling first), but my doctors fill up quickly and they only do on the day appointments unless it's something serious, so I have to phone them as soon as the phone lines open, which is 8am. So I call at 8am, and after attempting to call them like 10 times only for the phone to be engaged, I finally get through, and I have to wait almost 2 minutes while the phone is ringing. Eventually, at 8.05am, they answer and tell me to call again at 8am tomorrow morning. The same thing they have been telling me all week. Their only other suggestion is to be at the door for 7.30 which I can't do because I live 40 minutes from the doctors and have to take the bus, there aren't many buses to where I'd need to be before 8am, and due to the fact I've gone nearly 3 days without sleep, I'm way too exhausted to walk all the way there. Also, because of my anxiety, I hate walking long distances in the dark by myself, and it's still the time of year where it's pitch black at 7am, and it's too early for me to get my friends to walk with me. So basically, I'm screwed. So already pissed off and exhausted, I attempt to get a bit of shut-eye since as mentioned, haven't slept in 3 days, I get about half an hour of sleep before I'm woken up by construction workers. Now, the walls of my house are so thin that somebody talking across the road can sound like they are inside your house (in fact, many times I've gotten myself into a panic because some children are shouting outside and I think they've broken into the house to kill me, but that's another story). So imagine how it must sound having a super-loud drill and hammers in the house next door, plus add the fact I already had a terrible headache from the lack of sleep. So, I'm already feeling crap, but then my -ahem- "monthly visit" arrives, and I am in agony, because my PMS is less stomach cramps and more the feeling of someone trying to rip my uterus to shreds, kicking my back, ass and pelvis while also inducing the occasional vomiting; basically, things that have put me in hospital before aren't as horrible as my monthlies. Then I feel guilty because I haven't been to work in a week because of the exhaustion from my insomnia, and now they want to talk about me and I'm terrified, and I go on Facebook and read a lot of passive-aggressive statuses that make me feel like a horrible person, then got into an argument with my boyfriend, it was a mess.
