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Chuck Norris


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#1 HPworshiper13

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 08:52 AM

Best Chuck Norris Facts:

-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

-There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

-The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type “Chuck Norris” into Google and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky!”.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

-Chuck Norris once taught a class called "Ass Kicking 101". There were no survivors.

-The Big Bang was actually Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking God in the face.

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

-A man stopped Chuck Norris on the street and asked him to list 100 Chuck Norris facts. Unamused, Chuck Norris raised one eyebrow with such force that the man disintegrated.

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a horse in the face, now we call it a giraffe.

-Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan. <--My favorite!!! ^^;
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#2 finch

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 09:27 AM

I was never much of a Chuck Norris fan.




More facts:
http://google.com/se...Feel Lucky Punk?

#3 ★Shining Star★

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 10:01 AM

Chuck Norris kicked a stone when he was a child now we call it the Moon. (know it slame but i invented it ^^;)

#4 Whiteshade

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 10:12 AM

^LOL. Lame but that's a new one. ^^;
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#5 Asp

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 10:18 AM

those facts are really popular
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

my favorite: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for chuck norris
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#6 FumikoH

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 12:36 PM

Chuck Norris was interview on Public Radio tonight while I was driving home from work, I heard, on Fresh Air program, he is kind of nice guy, interesting.
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#7 Ninja-Man

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 02:37 PM

Gah!!!
It was only a matter of time I guess before the Chuck Norris facts invaded here too.

#8 ★Shining Star★

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 02:44 PM

Chuck Norris facts invaded here too.

It was just a matter of time, :blush: besides that most facts apply to me too. :huh: hahaha <3

#9 HPworshiper13

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 05:45 PM

My other favorite fact is:

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land ^^; ^^; XD
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#10 Ninja-Man

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 05:51 PM

One of my favorites was:
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato sacks them.

#11 Asp

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Posted 19 January 2008 - 06:15 PM

What about: "When doing push ups, Chuck Norris doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down!" ^^;
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#12 sailormari

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Posted 20 January 2008 - 08:08 AM

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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#13 Garamon

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Posted 20 January 2008 - 10:02 AM

Gah!!!
It was only a matter of time I guess before the Chuck Norris facts invaded here too.


I'm not sure whether it's shit or not. :noo:

#14 envy

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 08:33 AM

Earlier today, I watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger and like Chuck Norris delivered a baby in a cabin in the woods.

#15 finch

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 09:46 AM

I spent 3 years in a cabin in the woods.

#16 kantutanTayo14

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 10:40 AM

Don't know if you guys know this but:

Chuck Norris Facts originally started in the "Vin Diesel Fact Generator", and Chuck Norris Facts were created as a byproduct, often using the same facts featured in the Vin Diesel Fact Generator. In time, Chuck Norris Facts became wildly popular, even more so than the original Vin Diesel Fact Generator.
There are also Mr. T facts too.

#17 zam(仮)

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 10:47 AM

Here is a H!P fact: Nakazawa Yuuko can knock out Chucky without laying a single finger on him. :huh:


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#18 chr0nik©

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 03:47 PM

Those facts are pretty funny, it's a shame that he's suing some of the people that are publishing them :good:

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#19 sailormari

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Posted 23 January 2008 - 04:26 AM

why he suing them?

does that mean not true :rolleyes:
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#20 AnotherWota

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Posted 23 January 2008 - 05:00 AM

Why is Chuck Norris so popular and famous? Why do people make so many random statement about him? It like, some people in online games I used to play spamm the whole chat box about Chuck Norris.




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