Chuck Norris
#1
Posted 19 January 2008 - 08:52 AM
-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
-There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
-The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type “Chuck Norris” into Google and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky!”.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
-Chuck Norris once taught a class called "Ass Kicking 101". There were no survivors.
-The Big Bang was actually Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking God in the face.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
-A man stopped Chuck Norris on the street and asked him to list 100 Chuck Norris facts. Unamused, Chuck Norris raised one eyebrow with such force that the man disintegrated.
-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a horse in the face, now we call it a giraffe.
-Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan. <--My favorite!!!
#2
Posted 19 January 2008 - 09:27 AM
#3
Posted 19 January 2008 - 10:01 AM
#4
Posted 19 January 2008 - 10:12 AM
Bringing back the flag.
#5
Posted 19 January 2008 - 10:18 AM
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
my favorite: When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for chuck norris
#7
Posted 19 January 2008 - 02:37 PM
It was only a matter of time I guess before the Chuck Norris facts invaded here too.
#8
Posted 19 January 2008 - 02:44 PM
It was just a matter of time, besides that most facts apply to me too. hahahaChuck Norris facts invaded here too.
#10
Posted 19 January 2008 - 05:51 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato sacks them.
#11
Posted 19 January 2008 - 06:15 PM
#12
Posted 20 January 2008 - 08:08 AM
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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#13
Posted 20 January 2008 - 10:02 AM
Gah!!!
It was only a matter of time I guess before the Chuck Norris facts invaded here too.
I'm not sure whether it's shit or not.
#15
Posted 22 January 2008 - 09:46 AM
#16
Posted 22 January 2008 - 10:40 AM
Chuck Norris Facts originally started in the "Vin Diesel Fact Generator", and Chuck Norris Facts were created as a byproduct, often using the same facts featured in the Vin Diesel Fact Generator. In time, Chuck Norris Facts became wildly popular, even more so than the original Vin Diesel Fact Generator.
There are also Mr. T facts too.
#17
Posted 22 January 2008 - 10:47 AM
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#18
Posted 22 January 2008 - 03:47 PM
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#19
Posted 23 January 2008 - 04:26 AM
does that mean not true
voted Mari's Greatest Fan in the 2010 & 2011 Greatest Fan Awards...thanks to all who voted for me and thanks to Sprinklebuns♥Yutorin for siggy
#20
Posted 23 January 2008 - 05:00 AM
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