In the interest of this being one of the more ridiculous things H!P has done recently, I'll attempt a line-by-line translation, although I make no promises on when it will be done. I will also accept other translation requests in the meantime in the interest of fairness. If you have video of your other requests, you can post that once I'm finished.
The KFC video might be the type that you need the subs on the video for it to make sense, so don't worry if it's too mendokusai. I just thought it seemed interesting. Thanks