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Juice=Juice Rankings- Blashpemy of a Commoner
Posted by Ganbacchae! It's Alright!,
25 July 2015
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270 views
The most beautiful thing about the internet is that it allows us plebeians to have an opinion. No one would care about the views of 90% of the powerless human populace, and practically no one would read blogs had they not stumbled upon a clickbait title. I could use this wonderful resource to bring awareness to the plight of pandas, or to advocate for solutions to the inequality that causes unarmed youth to get shot, but nah. That stuff is played out. One thing that never gets old is ranting and raving about foreign girls that I will never meet. It gives me adrenaline chills every time I vomit my biases up and hit "Submit."
Rankings almost always start at the bottom, and this is where the BLASPHEMY starts. I do not worship at the temple of Karin. The pale, slightly built songstress has managed to gain a huge following of fans with her technical singing proficiency and shiny cocaine pupils. Add the bowl cut and adorable personality, and you have an idol worthy of rabid and unquestioning worship...
Which is why she ranks so low. It's not that I don't like her, it's that she is the type of idol that is "too likable". I find her plainly nondescript in a sea of idols. She suffers from Airi-Syndrome. There's really no reason to find her alienating, but there is nothing to keep me coming back to her either. Her hair has progressive gotten shorter, I have noticed. Maybe she will become interesting by having a psychotic break like Britney and shaving herself bald once her entertainment industry programming breaks. Something like that would definitely help her in my rankings.
The next gal on the list is Miyazaki Yuka. I find her "uncute", which is actually a good thing because she stands out to me that way. Her dance skills are not particularly great, but I still enjoy watching her. For an older gal, she is hanging on in there.
Uemura Akari... Is beautiful. In he idol world, that is really all that yo need, which i a good thing because her singing and dancing can be just a lil rough. I do like the tone of her voice, it's pleasant, and studio recordings will always be an option is I don't want to search through lives to find her sounding decent.
Sayuki has the same appeal to me as the Onyanko Club's Aki Kihara did, a cute monkey face and a voice that can go awkwardly deep. Like Aki, she also doesn't always have the best taste in hair (No passes for Aki, "It was the 80s is no excuse), which further endears her to me. Sayuki's voice is powerful, and she often chooses to shove her notes into the mic like a jock shoves a nerd into his locker. Her dancing has a more "wild" presence.
I have dedicated my life to the Goddess Tomoko, which essentially like worshiping the devil. The first thing that I noticed about Tomoko was her eyes, they look evil no matter what. It's something about the industrial amounts of black eyeliner that she wears and her eyebrows, which are shaped like cutting implements. Her voice has that nasally, airy feel that brings back fond memories of Mikitty (the first one), and Mikitty-Lite (Kikkawa). When dancing, she has this way of incorporating these little feminine gestures, softening her facial expression, a flick of the wrist, a tilt of the hips.. those little things that could draw a person to her before she smirks evily and devours their soul. Live, she is not always perfect in her dancing and vocals, but there is just something so distinctly "Tomoko" about it all that it comes off as just her being herself and not just "bad". Pity I am so close-minded and won't give Akari that type of slack but the heart wants what the heart wants.
...And that concludes my Juice=Juice ranking. I feel so important, having my special little opinion on the internet.
Rankings almost always start at the bottom, and this is where the BLASPHEMY starts. I do not worship at the temple of Karin. The pale, slightly built songstress has managed to gain a huge following of fans with her technical singing proficiency and shiny cocaine pupils. Add the bowl cut and adorable personality, and you have an idol worthy of rabid and unquestioning worship...
Which is why she ranks so low. It's not that I don't like her, it's that she is the type of idol that is "too likable". I find her plainly nondescript in a sea of idols. She suffers from Airi-Syndrome. There's really no reason to find her alienating, but there is nothing to keep me coming back to her either. Her hair has progressive gotten shorter, I have noticed. Maybe she will become interesting by having a psychotic break like Britney and shaving herself bald once her entertainment industry programming breaks. Something like that would definitely help her in my rankings.
The next gal on the list is Miyazaki Yuka. I find her "uncute", which is actually a good thing because she stands out to me that way. Her dance skills are not particularly great, but I still enjoy watching her. For an older gal, she is hanging on in there.
Uemura Akari... Is beautiful. In he idol world, that is really all that yo need, which i a good thing because her singing and dancing can be just a lil rough. I do like the tone of her voice, it's pleasant, and studio recordings will always be an option is I don't want to search through lives to find her sounding decent.
Sayuki has the same appeal to me as the Onyanko Club's Aki Kihara did, a cute monkey face and a voice that can go awkwardly deep. Like Aki, she also doesn't always have the best taste in hair (No passes for Aki, "It was the 80s is no excuse), which further endears her to me. Sayuki's voice is powerful, and she often chooses to shove her notes into the mic like a jock shoves a nerd into his locker. Her dancing has a more "wild" presence.
I have dedicated my life to the Goddess Tomoko, which essentially like worshiping the devil. The first thing that I noticed about Tomoko was her eyes, they look evil no matter what. It's something about the industrial amounts of black eyeliner that she wears and her eyebrows, which are shaped like cutting implements. Her voice has that nasally, airy feel that brings back fond memories of Mikitty (the first one), and Mikitty-Lite (Kikkawa). When dancing, she has this way of incorporating these little feminine gestures, softening her facial expression, a flick of the wrist, a tilt of the hips.. those little things that could draw a person to her before she smirks evily and devours their soul. Live, she is not always perfect in her dancing and vocals, but there is just something so distinctly "Tomoko" about it all that it comes off as just her being herself and not just "bad". Pity I am so close-minded and won't give Akari that type of slack but the heart wants what the heart wants.
...And that concludes my Juice=Juice ranking. I feel so important, having my special little opinion on the internet.
Inside Tomoko's devilish nature she is still a pure lady. I guess it's true that there is still a piece of Angel Yuukarin in her after all