Translation: I love major actress Sato Masak-san too much, what should I do...?
A video clip from Morning Musume. '19 FC Event ~PureMoni. Christmas-kai~, a segment where Sato Masaki gives a serious Christmas-style love story. She recites both roles, referred to as "O," for an unnamed onna no hito (woman), and "K" for the named male character, Kankan.
Requested by randomrrr
Translated by Lurkette
O: Kankan-kun, what are you saying? I don’t understand at all.
O: You’re not a panda so could you not talk so slow?? I say I like you, could you not just say something back like we’ve been going out all this time? I just don’t get it! I want you to do it like you’re supposed to. You’re man, so you’re supposed to say things outright, come on! You don’t do it! I don’t understand! Why can’t you do that for me? Now I feel like there wasn’t even a point in me confessing my feelings to you, don’t you get that?! No, you don’t, you’re a man, you don’t get it. I mean it’s fine, I get it, but wait a minute, Kankan, I’ll calm down, phew. But okay, you know, this isn’t about thinking that we’re dating, but you understand that it is a sensitive subject for me to say I like you, right? So even though you recognize that it’s a sensitive subject, you still go, “Huh, well, I thought since we were going out for a while—“ NO!!! That’s not it!! Were you not listening to me at all?? Get it? Do you get it?
K: That’s so painful for you… Sorry ‘bout that.
For context, part of the humor in this lies in the idea that Japanese people typical do not reveal their true thoughts or intentions, their "honne," when talking to others. Here, we can understand from context that the female character has just told the male character how much she likes him, to minimal response. Instead of doing what the expected Japanese response is, which is to not say much at all, the female character tears into the male character for belittling her feelings. The male character, to comedic effect, doesn't change his speech much at all even when confronted with her true feelings.