Practicing my Japanese: H!O, Work and Other things

Your Japanese seems pretty good; how long have you been studying for?
Anyways just some errors I thought I'd point out/help correct:

• In the sentence "仕事は悪いなっている" 悪い needs to be converted to 悪く (悪くなっている) as it's an い-adjective.
• "すぐに来て夏が欲しい" should be reordered to something like "夏をすぐ来てほしい" (I want summer to come soon).
• In "私も寝たい", も doesn't make sense in this context as も infers that someone else said they wanted to sleep first. You could connect it to the previous sentence (about wanting summer to come) with から (because) or something.
• "夏が来るとき、夏が来たとき​​、休むと書いた". To be honest I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say with this sentence.
• In "私はペンパル友達にもっと手紙を送信したい" replace the に with と and in "韓国ペンパルが欲しい" it should be 韓国のペンパル or 韓国人ペンパル.
• "モーニング娘とHello!Onlineは5年になった" needs some work as well. Maybe something like ５年前モーニング娘のファンとHello!Online のメンバーになった。(5 years ago I became a Morning Musume fan and a H!O member).
• "モーニング娘の新垣へ行くときファンはないか、でもサポートをする" doesn't make much sense to be honest. Are you trying to say you're not a fan of Niigaki-san but still support her? In that case it would be "新垣さんのファンじゃないでもサポートします"
• "9番目と10番目の新メンバーが好きなが、新垣でない"　should be 9期と10期メンバー が好きですが新垣さんが好きじゃない。
• The sentence after that should be reordered to something like "ハロープロの中で好きなグループはBerryz工房と℃-uteだと思います。

Hope that helps

• I'll remember to change the first two points you've given me.
• I'm not good at connecting sentences so I added 私も寝たい to it's own sentence. >__<
• Ah~ I see my mistake in those sentences now.
• That sentence too, I can't believe I missed that mistake in ５年前, would you not add "に" after 前?
• I didn't know how to change the last three points so thank you for that.

Thank you for the help and I've been studying for 3 years but only recently since I got into University have I been practising my Japanese more. I'm also learning Korean in my own time but trying to focus on Japanese first since it's my degree. Kanji is a pain for me too >__<

• No, you don't need a に or any other particle after 5年前. に infers direction so it would end up meaning something like "In 5 years ago...." lol

Anyways no problem and good luck studying . I've studied Japanese for a bit more than 4 years now and yeah, Kanji is a pain for me too. Actually Kanji is a pain for everyone I think, lol.