Dear Risako

I wanted to write this letter as a reply to Risako's graduation and her last blog post.

I wanted to write my own little personal letter to you to say Congratulations on your hiatus. 12 years you have graced the stage as the powerhouse of Berryz Kobou. From day one you captivated me, and without realizing it I looked up to you so much. There were parts of your personality that reminded me of myself. It cannot be denied that you loved singing and what you did, but behind that was a shy smile and beneath that there was something else.

After watching the graduation concert I came across your final blog post and it triggered something within me to reply back to your post. You had a lot of happy memories with Berryz Kobou, there were laughs and happy moments. However, hidden beneath all that it cannot be denied that you did feel down. There doesn't have to be a reason for it. You can run around trying to find the reason for why you're feeling down and we become frustrated with ourselves even more when we cannot find the answer.

I know what it's like waking up knowing you're surrounded by an amazing team of people, friends, family, work colleagues and even strangers that smile at us in the street. You're surrounded by the same people but when it comes to telling them how you feel you run back into your shell and brave another smile for another day. I know the decision to disband Berryz Kobou was probably the hardest decision you had to make. As a fan I can selfishly say that I never want you to leave because who can I look up to now when all there is left is an empty stage? However, Risako Sugaya needs to find her happiness and even if I never see you in the public eye again, the one thing I want you to accomplish is being able to wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see inside and out. I think it is something we probably both need to work on. You're at the stage where you have made a decision and you know what to do with your life, whereas I am still lost. From today I hope I achieve the same strength as you and push myself to follow my dreams.

I hope you make all of your dreams come true! You deserve a happy ending!

Thank you for an amazing journey from the moment I saw you. I'll probably cry tomorrow again at your hiatus, but that's what life is about. It's about change and making things happen to make your dreams come true and achieve happiness.

Congratulations and thank you for everything!